Egg Preservation: A Story of 10 Maybe Babies

Jacqueline chats with Alison who shares her story of preserving her fertility by making the decision to freeze her eggs. Take a listen to learn about what that process looks like, and hear all about Alison's experience first hand.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Are you tired of scrolling your feed only to see the highlight reel version of motherhood? If so, then you're in the right place. Welcome to the Motherhood Intended podcast. I'm your host, Jacqueline Baird, and I'm a passionate mom here to support women like you in their unique journeys to and through motherhood. I have been through it all. We're gonna be talking about things like trying to conceive, infertility, IVF, surrogacy, mom life, and more. It's time to get real about what it takes to be a mom and come together in the fact that things don't always go as planned. So here we go. Today I have Allison here on the podcast. Allison is a very good friend of mine. She was in my wedding. We are sorority sisters. We met in college, we're friends, and today I'm excited to talk about her journey with fertility and chat about her experiences so far. So obviously, I know a lot about your story, but we've kind of talked about it in passing. We haven't like sat down and had a conversation about it. So I'm excited to do this today. Um first I just wanted to ask: have you always known that you wanted to be a mom? Was that always something as a kid or growing up that you wanted? Or is it just something that like a lot of people have kids? So I probably will. Like, kind of where did you land on that?

SPEAKER_01: 1:16

So I've always known I wanted to be a mom. My mom will tell you that I always had baby dolls. I asked for all the baby things. Like motherhood was always a part of who I was and a part of who I wanted to be. I think ever since that young age, it's stuck with me. And then as I get older, it's become more apparent that that is my number one goal.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42

I just like asking that question because you know, everyone's like at a different spot. Some people are just like what you said, are like, oh my gosh, I've been playing with dolls for forever and I just knew it. And other people are like, I mean, and it didn't really become forefront for me until I was 30. And I just was like, okay, I think it's time. You know, everyone has a different opinion. So your story involves the decision to freeze your eggs. Why don't we start at the beginning? At what point did you decide that that was something that you wanted to do?

SPEAKER_01: 2:09

So funny story, it was never part of my plan to freeze my eggs. I've always had a backup plan that if I was single when I'm 35, I would have kids on my own without a husband. So with that in my mind, I had a scary period, as I like to call it, where it was two weeks late and it was very light. And that kind of sparked me into do I have eggs left? Can I still be a mom? So as I started researching, I realized maybe I should freeze my eggs just in case I'm starting to go into early menopause or something just isn't right. So within the last two years is when I decided that freezing my eggs was going to be something that I was going to pursue.

SPEAKER_00: 2:59

When you were doing research, is was it what you assumed it was? I just know for myself, I did not realize at first what was all involved in freezing your eggs. And people make it sound so easy, they're like, oh, just freeze your eggs. And you know, like it's like just something you just go check off your list, and it's definitely not. So, what does that entail exactly?

SPEAKER_01: 3:17

So I did not expect everything that goes into it. In my mind, and from what you see on TV in the movies, it's it's a simple process. So you go in, they take the eggs out, and then they freeze them. But easy to um, right? If only as I started researching, the thing that hit me the most was of course the cost. Then it was the types of doctors you have to see, and then figuring out what your protocol is for the hormones and shots, and if you are even a candidate for a pre saying. So I didn't realize that based on certain levels, your doctor might tell you this is not the best path forward for you, which as I was researching after having my scary period, I was like, oh no, is that going to be me? So I had a little bit of a panic as I was researching. Yeah. But and then in talking with you a bit about your journey, you helped me focus in on what I should be looking into in terms of the type of doctor and questions that I should be asking.

SPEAKER_00: 4:23

Yeah. I mean, I had no idea either until this moment you said it. I didn't realize that not everyone is a candidate to freeze your eggs. Everyone makes it sound so easy. Like, well, just freeze them. Then you have them. But I didn't realize that. So what do they look at? Is it your egg count or like what levels do they look at?

SPEAKER_01: 4:38

It's a variety of things. It's like the AMH level that is a very important factor, but also just your age and just general health. And I I learned it's not necessarily because you can't, you can still go through the process, but you may only get one or two eggs, and then the odds are so bad that your doctor doesn't necessarily want to put you through that mental turmoil of pumping yourself up with hormones and then having to tell you that it failed. Or if you have the two eggs and they don't take, then I think that's the main reason why we move forward with you.

SPEAKER_00: 5:17

Yeah, it's a lot. I mean, it's a lot physically, it's a lot mentally and emotionally, and I'm sure you learned so much in the process. So, what does that look like? So, first you went to go see if you were a candidate, right? And then once you found out you were, then you go from there. What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01: 5:33

So, with my doctor specifically, it started with a massive blood draw for all the tests. I want to say there were about 15 vials of blood that they took. Which yes, I'm fine with needles, I'm fine with giving blood, but I nearly passed out. That was a lot, yeah. Yeah, they had to sit in front of me and keep me in my seat because I was like yes traumatizing. Yeah. Do I have to find a doctor now? So then he yes, once that happened, he looked at everything. And from there, the doctor that I went to, they have phases. So if I fall into a group of 10 women who are on similar timing, then I would start right away. If I didn't, then they would kind of delay me by a couple months. Just so I think that's for the convenience of the doctor. I never necessarily asked that question.

SPEAKER_00: 6:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 6:34

And so with that, my cycle didn't necessarily line up with going right away. And they also wanted to level me out. So they put me on birth control, which I honestly had not been on for I want to say about 15 years. Um then from there it was as soon as my next cycle started, going in to get my blood tested again, and then them saying, okay, you're going to start next month and prescribing me all of the medications.

SPEAKER_00: 7:07

So when you got put on birth control, how did you react to that? Because after, yeah, not being on it for 15 years, I would be in the same boat. I hadn't put it on forever. And I'm considering it now, and I'm like, I don't know how that's gonna go. How'd you feel?

SPEAKER_01: 7:18

It was kind of a taste test for me, knowing that I was going to pump myself up with hormones. I was just true, yeah. This this is going to show me how I'm going to act. And I was a monster. So it's really messed with my moods. I will say that my next cycle was very light and very not painful, which I appreciated, but silver lining. Yes, right. Overall, I was not thrilled. Yeah. Uh just with the way that my body reacted to it.

SPEAKER_00: 7:49

And was this just like an oral birth control that they put you on? It was.

SPEAKER_01: 7:52

Yeah, it was one of the I can't remember the name of it, but it was just like a level hormone throughout the month. So I know some are like heavy the first week, then they start to taper down into the fourth week, but this one was just a study.

SPEAKER_00: 8:07

And so then you have to pick up your medications, do they get delivered, or how does that work then? Because I know it's a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 8:12

This yeah, this was another thing that I learned. You can't just go to the normal Julasco and pick up your prescription, it has to be delivered to you. Yeah. Yeah. So they had to send my prescription to a specialty pharmacy. And then that specialty pharmacy had to process it, talk with my insurance, and then call me and tell me everything that the doctor had prescribed me and what they could fill and what they couldn't fill. And it was a weird process because they know the normal protocol of women who are just starting to do this. So as they're talking through one of the drugs, it was menacure that was prescribed. They wanted me to have 24, and the pharmacy could only allocate 23 because of my insurance. There was something weird with whatever that was. So it was one of those.

SPEAKER_00: 9:13

Yeah. So what okay? I was gonna say, so you ended up just going with what the insurance did, and it was okay, okay. That's yeah, that is crazy. That is just a whole nother added level of uh insurance and like different pharmacies. Things they don't tell you when you're going to freeze your eggs. I had no idea either. Like these are IVF medications, it is the first part of IVF. I thought the same thing. I was like, cool, cool, cool. I'll go to Joule, I'll just like fill my prescription and like easy peasy, they'll bill insurance. Right. No, it's never that easy. And insurance is always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01: 9:44

It really is. Yeah. And it's so confusing looking into it too, because certain insurances they cover freezing eggs, they cover IVF, and others don't. And mine kind of landed in the middle where they're like, Well, cover it, but you're doing it for a social reason because I'm not married, I'm not struggling to get pregnant. I don't have this going to affect me. So they couldn't tell me exactly what they were going to cover. It was going to be a we'll tell the pharmacy, they'll let you know type of thing. Oh gosh. So I'm sitting here, like, please don't charge me$50,000. I can't afford that.

SPEAKER_00: 10:19

Because like it easily could be, I mean, those medications add up. I was trying to remember. I think maybe our insurance covered a little bit, but yeah, so much of it is out of pocket. And it in your rate, it's all specific to like, what's your diagnosis? Why are you doing it? It's not as simple as, oh, you need fertility meds. Like, here you go. Yeah. Okay. So you did your initial testing, you got your meds, and then did you have to have a follow-up appointment with your doctor? Like, did you get training on it? Or like, how did you know like when to start, or how did the whole process like begin?

SPEAKER_01: 10:48

So this is something I'm not sure if it's because of the pandemic where it became just virtual and kind of yeah, self-educating, but they have an online course where they send you the link, you have to sign in and you have to complete the series. So you watch a video, you learn how you're supposed to inject the medication into you, the side effects, and then they quiz you at the end.

SPEAKER_00: 11:11

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 11:13

So, and then once you do that, as soon as you finish, then the doctor video calls you to walk you through do you have any questions, anything that you're concerned about? And of course, going into it brand new and not really knowing what to ask, I didn't have any questions. My only concern was how am I supposed to stick a needle in my tummy?

SPEAKER_00: 11:37

Right, right. And I feel like it's one of those things, like you don't, I mean, after you watch the video, which I think that's I don't know if that's because of COVID or not, but I like that you had a quiz and that the doctor called you because I'm trying to remember, like when I was doing IVF, I had videos. There's like a link to videos you could watch, like instructional videos, but I definitely didn't have a quiz. That would have been helpful, at least for my own confidence to be like, okay, I do got this. And then yeah, there was no like, I don't remember being talked to after it was just like here you so if that's not just for COVID, that is I that they should keep for sure. But yeah, it's kind of one of those things I'm guessing, even when you're like watching the video, yeah, you don't have questions until you start doing it, and then you can kind of figure it out. But right, so the needle thing, yeah, I can relate to that. That is it's like the buildup that's worse. It's like, oh, I don't know if I could do that. Did you end up what's what'd you end up doing? Like with your first shot. Did you have someone help you?

SPEAKER_01: 12:25

No, I had a couple people offer to help me, and in my mind, I'm like, I am a 33-year-old woman, I can do this on my own, I'm independent, and I can't have you coming over to my house every night at 9 p.m. to do this for me. Yeah so I started on my own the first night. It took me about an hour and a half to do the whole three shots. And it was a lot of me, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this just sick. I just like staring at the skin with the knee. So after repeating that probably hundreds of times, yeah, I got through it, and it wasn't as painful as I was expecting. And as time went on, I was like, oh, like I can, I can do this. And it wound up by the end of it taking me 10 minutes instead of an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_00: 13:17

Yeah, that's good. I know I think it's just like the anticipation, you don't know what to expect. There's something about the fact that, like, yeah, when you're doing it yourself, I don't know, that extra layer of courage because you have to like get yourself to do it as opposed to someone just like jabbing you, but I feel the same way. I was like, I need to do this myself.

SPEAKER_01: 13:31

I it just felt like something I needed to do, but yeah, air bubbles, like you have to flick, yeah. I remember one one of the times I was doing it, I was just so tired and like my mind, I had brain fog. I didn't flick it, and it was one of the ones that has like a lot of air in it, and I just stuck it and I started administering it. I panicked because they always saw you you can't inject air bubbles that's going to go to your heart and stop it. So I'm Googling and calling people. My aunt is a nurse, I was like, so this just happened. I'm having a little bit of mental breakdown. What's going to happen to me?

SPEAKER_00: 14:10

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I remember the air bubbles. I don't know if I ever knew why they were bad, but that's terrifying.

SPEAKER_01: 14:16

Yeah, if I had known that information, I would have been like, uh apparently it's only if it goes directly into a vein, not if you like in a muscle or yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 14:27

Regardless, I'd be like, what now? How do I get it? Yeah. How do I get a redo? Can we try this again? Okay, you did your first shot. So this was how many? Is it one shot or you mentioned three? How many did you have to do each night? Each night it was three for the first week.

SPEAKER_01: 14:44

And then the second week it became four because there's an extra an relics, I believe is what it was called. Um that's supposed to kind of protect your ovaries from overstimulating and saying, okay, release these eggs because they're getting too big, or I guess the proper term is follicle.

SPEAKER_00: 15:05

But yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. So the whole idea of these medications is for those who don't know, is to increase your egg count, right? Or your follicles to create a bunch of follicles and then kind of control the cycle, right?

SPEAKER_01: 15:18

Yes, it yeah, it overstimulates your ovaries so that it's produces multiple follicles, but then in doing that, you also have to inject a hormone that says, you got to hold these, hold on to these, it's not time to release, and then another one that's tries to mature them uh rapidly without maturing them too fast. So there's a lot of you're a giant science experiment.

SPEAKER_00: 15:43

Yes, yes, lots of timing. Were you given like a written, I don't know, schedule or plan? Because that's a lot to remember.

SPEAKER_01: 15:50

I was so with the shots every other day. I had to go into the doctor to have my blood drawn and they would do the ultrasound. So after they would look at everything, they would send me an email that had my next two days listed out of what I needed to give myself and if I needed to increase any of the medications or decrease any of them.

SPEAKER_00: 16:11

Okay, that makes sense. So that way they can adjust uh however everything's looking. Exactly. Yes. Okay, gotcha. So it's every night at the same time you had to do it. Yes. How did you manage that? Did you kind of just put things on hold? I mean, you work, you've got a life, obviously. Was that hard to navigate, or were you just like so focused in on it? So it was a little bit of both.

SPEAKER_01: 16:32

If I was trying to make plans that I didn't already have set, I would try to wait until I knew my cycle would be done. But if I already had standing plans, or if at the time I was setting the plans up, I was like, yeah, I feel great, let's do this. Yeah, I would have to travel with all of my needles and medication in my purse. There was a couple of times at restaurants, and I know it's not meant for me, but the stalls that have the koala diaper teacher table. That's a perfect table.

unknown: 17:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 17:06

That was perfect because I could set everything up and it was all like in one spot instead of having to like try and figure out how to sterile uh set something down in a bathroom. Right. Is public.

SPEAKER_00: 17:19

So yeah, and it's not like you're gonna want to do it at the sink or anyone can just walk in. You're like, hey, nothing, nothing to see here.

SPEAKER_01: 17:26

You just have to do this really quick. Move along, enjoy your dinner.

SPEAKER_00: 17:31

Oh my gosh. Well, that's actually a pro tip. One time I had to do that. I was hosting an event and it was the timing, like I had to be there. I think my event was starting at 7:30. And and it had been put on the calendar like months before I knew I was gonna be doing these IVF meds. And at seven o'clock, I'm like, yeah, in the bathroom, and it was a one-stall, and I didn't have that. But that is a pro tip. The changing table is a great table if you need to sneak away and do your IVF medications. Oh, for sure. Oh my gosh. So you obviously got more comfortable with it because you're doing it in a in a bathroom at a restaurant, you're going out, you're not like taking two hours. So yeah. And for those listening, it gets easier.

SPEAKER_01: 18:10

It does. And I got to the point where whoever I was with, I'm like, I have to leave for about 10 minutes. Like, I'm giving myself shots. I'm not doing anything weird. Yeah. Please expect me to be gone for a little bit longer than expected.

SPEAKER_00: 18:24

Right, right. Don't look into it too much. This is what I'm doing. That actually brings up a question. You told me what you were doing. Were you open with your family and like friends about this process and what you were going through?

SPEAKER_01: 18:34

I was very open with them. So my mom is actually the first person that I talked to about it that I was considering going through this process. And she was a hundred percent on board with me. And she reminded me of when I was little. Her whole thing was, you always wanted to be a mom. You never had a husband when you played house or anything like that. So it's just like, oh yeah. So I did that. My family knows, and then my friends, as they would ask, or as we would just be catching up, I would mention it, but it wasn't something where I was calling people up who I haven't talked to for months, being like, Hey, guess what? I'm doing. Yeah, totally. So if it came up in conversation, then I didn't care who knew it, my company knew it, and my coworkers knew it.

SPEAKER_00: 19:18

Okay. Yeah, I think that's so important because it is a lot. I mean, it's gonna affect your emotions, it's a time commitment, it's uh a financial equipment. It's it's a lot. So I think that's important that someone knows what you're going through just for support and everything. And even if it's to have someone to call for that first shot to be like, hey, so it's been two hours. Got a new pet box for jabbing yourself with a needle.

SPEAKER_01: 19:42

Right. I've I think on the first cycle that I did, I had called you or texted you like a weekend being like, does it get better? Because I'm running out of places to stick myself.

unknown: 19:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 19:54

Yeah, I remember that text, and it was like so relatable because I was like, I think it was, I don't remember if I was. Phone with my mom, or I was just like telling Josh, but I had the same feelings, and I was like, at what point does this get better? So you're going in for your monitoring, and did they have to adjust your medications along the way? They did.

SPEAKER_01: 20:16

So the first cycle that I went through, I actually had two follicles that matured too quickly. So they caught that on the monitoring and saw these two eggs. So they increased one of my meds. I can't remember which one, just to kind of slow down the maturation of those eggs while the others were trying to catch up. And then that one unfortunately failed just because those two eggs just wanted to do what they wanted to do. And so when I went back the second time around, they kind of saw how my body had reacted the first time. We're able to see if I needed to start off on any medications earlier on in the cycle or if any of them needed to start later on. And with that, they were able to set me up on the right protocol to have a successful.

SPEAKER_00: 21:08

Okay. Yeah, that's that's awesome that they that everything for those who don't know how it works, that they monitor it. So you're not just like willy-nilly putting drugs in your body and hoping for the best. Like they're really trying to control it for the best outcome. So by the time you got to those two follicles that had matured too quickly, how long was that a week or how long was that before they like kind of said, you know what, we should probably call this cycle and adjust some things?

SPEAKER_01: 21:32

It was eight days that they that they saw it, they tried to adjust and nothing happened. So at that point, they had called me to let me know that it had failed and I needed to do my trigger shot. And I was an emotional wreck during that call. I'm sure the nurse, she may have had people break down in sobbing tears before, but I'm sure that's exactly what I did. Yeah, it's like, what do you mean it didn't work? Yeah. And the thing is, they told me you have two mature follicles. We can go in and retrieve these. However, it just might not work out in the end because at my age and with the follicles they were pulling, my odds of having a successful pregnancy from that were so low. And it's one of those things where I don't have a partner or someone where I could say, this is what's happening. So I was trying to ask the nurse, what would you do? What do other people do in this situation? And that is something that they're not allowed to tell you because down the line, if I'm like, you told me I had to do the trigger shot and I could have had two follicles, they would be in trouble. So she was just trying to calm me down, yeah, to get me to a point where I wasn't hysterically crying in her ear.

SPEAKER_00: 22:58

Yeah. And then yeah. Wow. I didn't even think about that. That they can't like give that advice because I'd be the same thing and be like, yeah, you're not, you don't have, you're not like turning to someone else. It's like you need someone to weigh in on what's the best.

SPEAKER_02: 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:12

So how did you decide what to do next? Or how did you kind of navigate that?

SPEAKER_01: 23:16

Of course, it happened at 3:30 on a weekday. And so everyone's working. Um, and so I called my mom frantically, literally seven times in a row. So she may have thought that something terrible had happened and just kind of I I just needed a sounding board, someone to talk to to hear me to walk me through my plan forward. So after about an hour of Googling, of honestly praying and going to the Bible and talking to my mom about it, I I made the decision that I was going to end that cycle without retrieving any of the eggs.

SPEAKER_00: 23:57

Yeah. Okay. I totally understand not needing a sounding board. I mean, just to like get it out of your head and process it. Like sometimes you just need to hear it out loud to get some clarity. So I'm glad that your mom picked up. May have scared her, but you know, she picked up and uh I'm glad that she did. So from there, okay, so you made that decision, which I can assume that was not easy to navigate. I mean, Google's scary too, it's helpful, but like yeah, that can be confusing. So then I guess what happens next? Did you have to do you just get to go right into another cycle? Do you have to wait? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01: 24:30

So you have to wait. So you do the ginormous needle for the trigger shot, and that basically lets your ovaries release all the follicles as if you're preparing for your period. And then two weeks later, your cycle comes, and from there you have to call them on your first day and they assess are you in time to be able to be a part of this next phase going into it? That's right. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Unfortunately, my cycle started one day after the cut off. So then it was the next one was happening in five weeks. So I had to be on birth control for five weeks to control my cycle not starting. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 25:24

Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. I forgot about those groups. And yeah, I wonder if it's just like your doctor. I mean, I would guess it would make sense, like if the way the doctor does it, just to like all these people are doing X, Y, and Z. So I don't know, maybe they're not just like doing all these retrievals and stuff. I don't know if I if my doctor did that, but that makes sense. Um, seeing because that you one day and then you had to be on it for because you know, birth control sounded so fun for five more weeks.

SPEAKER_01: 25:47

Coming off of pumping myself up a ton of hormones anyway. So yeah, I was a monster the first time, this time, very much so.

SPEAKER_00: 25:57

Well, I forgot about the birth control because I was about to say, like, well, you know, then at least give your body, you know, a minute after putting all that in. Right. And then, but that makes sense. I forgot that you have to control it with the birth control. So no break. Lots of hormones. Okay. Lots of hormones never stop. Ugh. Yeah. I remember when you told me that part of your story too. I did not realize that that could even happen. I knew the process of growing your follicles and stuff, but I guess I just assumed, like, why wouldn't you just go through it? I remember you telling me this. Was there a threshold of like how many mature follicles they would have liked you to have to do a retrieval or a suggested amount?

SPEAKER_01: 26:32

I mean, obviously, it sounded like you could have retrieved those two follicles if you wanted to, but they want you to have about eight to 14 or at least a 50% success rate.

SPEAKER_00: 26:42

Okay.

unknown: 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 26:44

Eight to 14 follicles for 50% success rate of retrieval becoming an embryo and implanting. Okay. Yes. I'm gonna have more questions about that, but first I want to get to so you waited five weeks, um, started again. Yeah, they were able to modify your medications, and then yeah. So was anything different this time around? Because so you went eight days last time. Now, how long did this next cycle take with medications?

SPEAKER_01: 27:14

So this one, they started me early. They did what they call priming my ovaries. So about a week and a half before I was going to start up the new cycle, I started taking estrogen pills. And then there was another medication that I cannot remember the name of for the life of me that I started taking. And so what that was supposed to do is just get my body ready to do what it needed to uh for the egg retrieval process. And then they added in the human growth hormone into my protocol. So I started with that right off the bat, and then my normal, I call it normal now, but previous medications that I was on, and then one of them they started me on from day one. So at that point, I was now doing four shots per day, and then that led into five shots when it was getting closer to the time of retrieval.

SPEAKER_00: 28:10

Okay. And were you at least actually, I don't know if this is better or worse, but it's probably better to manage. But all these shots are happening at the same time each day.

SPEAKER_01: 28:18

They were okay.

SPEAKER_00: 28:20

Okay. Because at first I was like, that's easier because then you remember, but also you're doing five shots at one time. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 28:27

I only have so much real estate on my stomach. Yeah. So it was just I was bruised all over because I was trying to find new places because you can only be a certain in a certain area on your stomach, and then it needs to be close to your belly button too. Okay. So you can't.

SPEAKER_00: 28:46

Yeah, when you're doing that many, yeah. Yeah, you're doing that many. Yeah, you start to run out of room. I was gonna ask you if you had bruising. I know that that happens.

SPEAKER_01: 28:54

And I found places it was so weird. Sometimes I would do a shot and it wouldn't hurt at all, and then I would just move a little bit over and it would be so painful. And I don't know if that's because I already had the medication in me, or it was just like that area on my stomach wasn't as satty or or maybe it was like an area that was going to bruise, but wasn't visible yet, so it like hurt, but like, yeah, who knows? Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 29:21

Okay, so and how many days was all that?

SPEAKER_01: 29:24

That was that one went for 12 days.

SPEAKER_00: 29:28

12 days, and in and in those 12 days, you're still going back and like for is it blood work and ultrasound?

SPEAKER_01: 29:34

It is every other day, and then as they saw the follicles growing, it reached a certain point to where they would ask me to come in every day.

SPEAKER_00: 29:45

Okay. And then until you were ready to do the trigger shot, and they would tell you that you were good to go for that.

SPEAKER_01: 29:51

Yes, and that's that's a weird one too, that I didn't realize the trigger shot was based completely on what your body was doing. So I had to take a day off of work, but I didn't know what day that was going to be because it has to be administered 36 hours before they go in for the egg retrieval. So I I had to tell my boss, I'm going to be out of office one day this week. I don't know what day, and I can't tell you even a guesstimate of which day, but just I may have a very last-minute request for a day off. He was, of course, very open and um okay with that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 30:35

That's awesome that you have such supportive work because I know a lot of people probably wouldn't even tell their work because they're just afraid that they're not gonna understand or anything. But like I think it's definitely worth mentioning. You should just be honest about it. I mean, like you're describing, it's a lot, and especially that shot, I kind of forgot. Yeah, it's so time specific that you yeah, you can't always prepare for it. But yeah, at least you gave your boss a heads up, right? Okay, so after the trigger shot, then is it the so 36 hours after that is the retrieval? Is that right? Yes, okay. And so is there anything else you need to do to prep for the retrieval? I can't remember how that all works, or is it just you do your shot and then you show up, and then that's yeah, you do your shot, you show up.

SPEAKER_01: 31:19

I wasn't allowed to eat or drink a time before, but otherwise everything was just business as usual.

SPEAKER_00: 31:27

Okay. And did you you didn't know ahead of time, like going into your retrieval, exactly how many eggs were going to be retrieved, right? They don't actually know that until they're doing it. Like you have an idea, right?

SPEAKER_01: 31:38

Yeah. So they saw 14 potential eggs that they'd be able to pull out, but they couldn't confirm one way or the other if they would actually be viable until they actually got in and extracted.

SPEAKER_00: 31:52

Okay, gotcha. Going back to the trigger shot, and I just forget how everything is is, yeah, it's so timed, whether it's every day at the same time you have to do it, or then the trigger shot 36 hours. Did you have any medications that you had to? I know everyone's protocol is different and everything that you had to like mix together, or was it all just simply you had to draw it out of the vial and and do that?

SPEAKER_01: 32:11

I I did have to mix a majority of them. Okay. There were two like pulling that the dilution serum and putting it into the powder and having to mix it, then pull it back out.

SPEAKER_00: 32:25

Okay. I had one, one of those two, and I just remember thinking, like, why am I allowed to do this? Like, I'm not I'm like, I'm not a doctor. I'm like in the RMAG bathroom, like just about like mixing potions and drawing needles, and yeah, everything from like the making sure there's no air bubbles and everything. I just it took me a minute to be like, is this allowed? Yes, they just like send you home with a video and this medication, it's wild. Oh my gosh. You get to be the doctor. I know.

SPEAKER_01: 32:55

I'm like, can you just like air bubbles in my stomach?

SPEAKER_00: 32:58

Yeah, like what? Oh my gosh. I mean, thank god for modern medicine, but it is worth the pausing for a second to be like, this feels a little funny, right? Oh my gosh. Okay, so egg retrieval day. How are you feeling at that day? I remember feeling very bloated.

SPEAKER_01: 33:14

I was so uncomfortable, yeah. Because the body's used to one mature follicle. I had 14 in there, so you could just like tell it was there was just extra stuff going on in that area. I remember I was actually sitting in the prep room, and across from me, I could hear the other conversation. The woman across from me, she had 28 that they were going to go in for retrieval. And I'm sitting here uncomfortable with my 14. So you're that. Yeah, I couldn't, I could not imagine.

SPEAKER_00: 33:51

Yeah, that is a lot. I can't remember my exact number. I want to say I think I had like 22 or 24 somewhere in there. But I don't know. I think at some point it it probably is just like 14, 28. I mean, your your your body is melt off with like these mature follicles. This is a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 34:07

Right. Yeah. Throughout the process, too, you can feel yourself starting to bloat. And one of the things is you could have your ovary could flip because it's not used to having that money in there. So I remember just carefully moving anywhere I went. I would not walk too fast, I would not run up my stairs, and I would, as I'm sleeping, roll over so slow because I just I don't know why. I'm sure rolling over like a normal person and walking like a normal person is fine. Is allowed.

unknown: 34:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 34:39

But you're right. That reminds me, I feel like there was something like you couldn't like exercise or do certain things while you're doing this, because for that reason, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 34:48

Yeah. I was um I was at a workout class because I was like, oh, they say that it's totally fine. And I remember I was just in so much pain because anything was happening, just because it was my ovary was bigger than it's used to. So my body is trying to make room for it. And so that was like gonna stop.

SPEAKER_00: 35:10

Yeah, it's not the norm. Your body is not functioning how it normally would because it is not the size of everything inside is not the size, it should. I think the other thing too is it's so weird, like you could just feel your body, you know, being different in everything. And I think too, because you're doing all this prep that you're very aware that your body is prepping for this and doing this, so it's like yeah, I think by just default you even like feel differently because you're like, ah, there's lots of lots of these follicles in there, and that's not normal. So after, and I can't remember. Do you were you put under for retrieval?

SPEAKER_01: 35:43

Yes, okay. It wasn't like normal anesthesia or anything, it was more of a twilight sleep. And I realized some people can't see my hair quotes. So yeah, they took me into the room, they put me in the stirrups, and then they're talking to me completely normally, and I'm just kind of very uncomfortable because my legs are wide open. Your legs are in there, yeah. And the doctor was talking to me and he puts the mask on me. He's like, Let's think of going to the beach. And I was like, Great idea. And I next thing I knew, then he was and then you just wake up and you're like, Oh you're like, Allison, it's time to wake up. And my first thing to him was, Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00: 36:29

Yeah. Surely we're not done here. Like, no, no, oh my gosh. Okay, so then did you get any instructions for like after that, like how to take care of yourself? I don't remember the reasoning, but I feel like someone told me my doctors were like salty foods, like were good for you, but I don't remember why.

SPEAKER_01: 36:50

It's oh, I wish I could tell you why. I know it said the same thing, it's on the tip of my tongue. Yeah, I don't know if it is with the bloating or like something, but it's because the extraction, your body panics because it's not a normal process. So the salty foods, and there was something else we were supposed to do that kind of regulated yeah, your body to think it was in a normal state.

SPEAKER_00: 37:22

Okay, yeah, I couldn't remember the details on that. I just remember my doctor being like, no, but like it's my medical advice to go get some French fries when you're done. And I'm like, what? I had like my meal planned. I was like sold. I was like, that's the doctor said. Doctor said I eat a bunch of salty fries, so we're doing it.

SPEAKER_01: 37:39

If you insist, I will do this.

SPEAKER_00: 37:41

Yes, yeah. So that day after your retrieval, while you're still in the office or the hospital or wherever you were at, yeah. Were you in a hospital, or is it like the the actual office of your fertility clinic, or how do they do it? It was the office of the fertility clinic. Okay, yeah, I didn't know if that varied by Dr. I was the same, but I didn't know some people were at the hospital. Did you find out right away then, like how many eggs were retrieved, or did they have to call you? How did that go?

SPEAKER_01: 38:04

They had to call me because there's a rule that they can't tell you, oh, we extracted 20 follicles from you. Because if of those 20, only 10 are viable. It you're gonna be typed up on hormones, it's an emotional battle. So they give it to the lab, the lab studies them, and then they'll call you within 24 hours, let you know how many viable eggs they were able to retrieve.

SPEAKER_00: 38:32

Okay. Is there any kind of statistic that you know of? I can't remember, but like say if you have 24 eggs, like they are expecting 50% or or some kind of percentage, or is it just truly like individual and just based on you?

SPEAKER_01: 38:50

Truly individual.

SPEAKER_00: 38:51

Okay. Okay. So then I can only imagine the next 24 hours you're just waiting for that call.

SPEAKER_01: 39:01

I was got a number, I'm like, is this it? Are you calling to show me?

SPEAKER_00: 39:06

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When you did get the call, I guess what were your results and how did you feel about them?

SPEAKER_01: 39:12

So I had nine viable eggs retrieved and one runt, and that is the medical term they use. They totally it was nine mature eggs and one runt, who could be oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00: 39:28

I don't know why that makes me think of like the 101 doll major thing. Like the runt of the litter. I don't know. Exactly. The medical.

SPEAKER_01: 39:34

So my mind I'm like, I love them just the same.

SPEAKER_00: 39:37

Yep, yep, yep. Of course. Nine. Okay. The the range that they said would be a good range was what, eight to fourteen? Yes. Okay, great. So it's right there in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. And then um, so then they get frozen from there, right? You just they do, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 39:52

I don't know what that exact process is. In my mind, they are put in a tube and then sent. To a giant freezer.

SPEAKER_00: 40:02

Yeah. I don't know medically what that looks like or the actual terms either, but that that is what I am picture as well. I do know that there, I think I don't know if it's the same as embryos as it is with like eggs, but I know embryos are stored in at least at my clinic in like twos.

unknown: 40:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 40:19

Cause it was brought up when we were deciding to unthaw to unthaw. Thaw. To thaw. To thaw the embryos that they're in two. She's like, I would at least do half or do this. And I'm like, oh, now then my like vision changed of like what this looks like. I now I'm picturing these little like ice trays like in there that you just like pull out. I don't know. Maybe we'll never know. But yeah, so they're in the freezer. Okay. They are.

unknown: 40:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:39

All right. That's amazing. 10 maybe babies. Yeah. Yeah. So obviously, you mentioned that you know you decided to do this. You had a little scare, but maybe it was just like the, you know, things, I think things happen the way they're supposed to. And it kind of propelled you to do some research and want to do this. You said before that in your mind, you're like, if I'm not with somebody, if I'm not married by 35, I am just gonna, I want to be a mom. What does that look like for you now? Obviously, you know, plans are cute. We all make plans and then we change our minds or things happen. And now that you have your eggs frozen, um, what what are your plans kind of look like now going forward?

SPEAKER_01: 41:16

My plans are I am 35 next year, um, or in less than a year at this point. And I have started just preparing myself to go through with unfreezing some of my eggs and hoping to have a successful pregnancy out of them. That's not to say like I am still trying to date and see if my person is still out there, but for right now, my goal is to be pregnant next year.

SPEAKER_00: 41:48

Yeah, that is amazing. And I think it's worth mentioning because I think the biggest advice that I could give, and I'm I'm sure you would say the same, is like, if there's something you know that you've always wanted, you should just go after it if you can. I mean, there's always going to be obstacles, there's always gonna be financial costs, and I know this isn't the path for everyone, or maybe not even accessible to everyone. But if you can do it, I think it's like, you know, it's that next step in like going after what you want. And like your mom said, like you were playing mom, like you weren't like a mom and a dad there, like you knew what you wanted, so like get after it, like you got it. So that's so exciting that you have this option now. Yeah, and so for those who aren't familiar with this whole process, because I'm even still learning when you are ready to go through with that, you've got your egg, but obviously you need sperm to make an embryo, and you might not be at this step yet, or I don't know how much you've researched, but what does that kind of look like? Because you'd have to do a sperm donor, correct?

SPEAKER_01: 42:45

Yes, yeah, okay. So I think it's probably more medically sound than what I'm imagining. I know that they give you options of sperm that you can choose from. In my mind, it's a binder that you can flip through the different traits and just kind of pick who you want to match up with.

SPEAKER_00: 43:05

Yeah, that's literally what I picture too. I'm like, so you're going through your catalog and you're picking out, you know, you're picking out a donor. I don't know how that actually goes. Well, I'll have to like find somebody who works in that field to get on and like give us more information because that's what I'm imagining too. And like everything, it always sounds so easy where you're just like, oh, just freeze my eggs. Let's pick a donor. Like, I'm sure there's a process to it, and I'm sure it's not that simple. But man, is it awesome that that is an option out there?

SPEAKER_01: 43:30

Right? Yeah. No, it really is.

SPEAKER_00: 43:33

Yeah. I am very happy to have heard this whole story. Like I said, obviously we're friends, and I I knew you were going through this, but there's just so much that's involved with it that you forget. And I, I mean, it's been a few years since I've done IBF and I forget all these like different protocols and timing and medications. And I'm still learning things the more people I talk to about all of like I didn't know that you had to be a good candidate in order for this to be successful. I just thought even if it's one egg, you can get one egg from somebody and freeze it. And but there it's a lot more involved than that. Um, and so the other thing is I guess, and I'm I'm still learning more of this myself, but so you said eight to 14 eggs for it to be a 50% chance of one embryo. Is that correct? Okay, yes, yeah, okay, yeah. I think that's worth mentioning too, because I think so many women don't realize because I know I didn't obviously an egg and an embryo are two different things, and and then even when you have embryos, like those can dwindle down as well. I've just recently learned that and how that all works. So yeah, it's a process, and I think the best thing you can do is what you did is just do research and you know, make the best decisions for you, like how you decided to do another cycle, and obviously it worked out because you got some eggs and in the freezer. So exciting.

SPEAKER_01: 44:54

Yeah, and I just feel like I know going through this process is usually something that's that used to be meant for women who could not have children or were in danger of not being able to have children, but there's so many more women who are going down this path and exploring it that it's becoming more at the forefront of conversations. Something that you can ask your doctor about and they will be able to point you in the right direction. That more insurance companies are realizing that the social freezing of eggs is actually for sound reasons. Not to say that it wasn't for sound reasons, but for, but they're starting to agree and starting to cover more of the medications and making it more affordable. So you're not paying 20,000 out of pocket, you may only be paying like five to eight thousand. So I think we're on the forefront of this becoming bigger than what it is.

SPEAKER_00: 45:56

Yeah, I think you're right. And that was like the main reason I really wanted you to share your story and what you went through, because I think the problem is too like so many women think it's either not for them, like they don't have a good enough reason to freeze their eggs or like they can't afford her, it's not achievable and everything. And that's good to hear. Yeah, I think it is becoming more at the forefront and hopefully more accessible for more people because yeah, I mean, times have changed, you know, like we're not just coming out of high school, meeting the love of our lives, and like just starting our family. Women are very career-driven, everyone is putting things off. Um, the pandemic happened, that shift that rocked everybody's world. I mean, timelines are different and it and it it is, it sucks that you know, women on our such a timeline, but thanks to modern medicine, things like freezing your egg can preserve that. And I think the biggest problem is not everyone knows about it really, like what it entails if they can do it. Did you happen to see the article or maybe on social media? That's where I saw just like a post with Jennifer Aniston's article that came out. She opened up about her fertility. I'm like, the the first one of the things she said is like, I wish, I mean, she did try IVF and everything, and she has never really talked about her fertility. And everyone, you know, kind of speculates and whatever why didn't she have kids? Like, it's it's not for lack of money or anything like our resources, but this time it was kind of like a lack of knowledge around the topic by the time she got. I mean, she's she I think it was quoted saying, like, I wish someone wish would have just told me to freeze my eggs because now, like, that ship has sailed. And right, yeah, I think more we just need to be like educating more women on it, like, because the pressure of trying to get pregnant too and like get your family going is very real. It is, yeah, and it's you can't control everything in life, who you meet, when things happen. So it's like, ugh.

SPEAKER_01: 47:43

Right. Yeah, and you're only taught so much about your body and so much about getting pregnant. Like, there, I feel like we only see the tip of the iceberg as we're growing up, and there's so much more that we don't know, and we probably won't know until we start looking into things like freeze earrings or IVF.

SPEAKER_00: 48:02

Yeah, absolutely. And it's so ironic that I feel like in our youth, and like for so many years, we're all we're learning is like how not to get pregnant. Like, and then all of a sudden we're in our 30s, and you're like, wait, now I have to do all these things, like to like I just thought, you know, no one like tells you.

SPEAKER_01: 48:20

No, it's finding out, oh, my AMH level is half of some of my age. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 48:25

What does this mean? Or like even finding out what an AMH level is. Like, I was just like, eggs, we got them. Like, I know like we don't have an infinite amount, but like I had no idea until I was at least 30 that like at 35 or whatever statistics say, they make that age sound so doom and gloom in the fertility world. You're literally considered the geriatric pregnancy. And I'm just like that, we need to find a new term for that, first of all. Yeah, but who knew? I didn't know until I was like already in my 30s that the the decline of your egg quality and egg count and everything goes down. Yeah, I'm sorry, why were why weren't we taught this when you were like 18, like going into our adulthood? Because I mean, I don't know, I people will probably make different decisions, you know, based on that knowledge alone.

SPEAKER_01: 49:09

Oh, exactly. If I could have froze my 20-year-old eggs, I would have done that.

unknown: 49:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 49:16

Of course, I wasn't in no financial situation to do that or even thinking about it. But yeah, just thinking about all the like side effects of the older you are, yeah, the more issues you're going to run into.

SPEAKER_00: 49:29

Yeah, it's such a catch 22. Cause like you said, yeah, I mean, not only is your 20-something-year-old mind not even there yet, but like financially too, it's like, no, I mean, I don't I couldn't have done that at 21 or whatever. I would love my 21-year-old eggs, but but yeah, on the flip side, it's like when you're in your 30s, then it's like, yeah, everything's a lot harder on your body and and everything. Hopefully, things will continue to change and it'll be more accessible to women, you know. So you can do it in your youth and it won't be so such a burden. And then you won't be held to such a strict timeline of meeting someone and making sure all the pieces align because like that's just it's just not how life works. No, it's not. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, before we go, I just wanted to ask, is there? I mean, you've already been very helpful, and I know that this is going to help anyone who is considering freezing their eggs or has already decided they're going to and just get an inside look at kind of what that process looks like. But is there any advice that you'd like to share for someone who is considering freezing their eggs or maybe is about to go through it?

SPEAKER_01: 50:28

Um I think my advice would be keep your mind open. And if you run into an obstacle where it you think it might not work, don't give up. And also talk, talk to your friends, talk to your family, because someone may have gone through something similar and they might be able to set you up for the questions that you should be asking your doctor. Because I think a lot of times doctors think you might be on a completely different page, but the reality is you don't know what you don't know. So you wouldn't know to ask specific questions. So just being able to be open and communicative and having someone even to use as a sounding board.

SPEAKER_00: 51:09

Yeah, absolutely. That is great advice because yeah, I think the more you know, and like you said, you don't you don't know what questions to ask if you don't know yet. So yeah. And I found myself like the more you talk and the more you share with people, it's really surprising who's been through what and has knowledge on different topics. If not a friend, maybe their friend's sister or something, you know, like and it it's definitely helpful to be prepared with as much knowledge as possible.

unknown: 51:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 51:36

Well, friend, I just wanted to say thanks for chatting. I'm so glad to have you on the podcast. I knew the second I was gonna be starting this podcast, I was like, I gotta talk to Allison. Which I'm just gonna say it is very strange to call you Allison because we are so used to college nicknames. So that was strange to tell you Allison. But you do a good job. I know it was hard coming out. I was like, Allison. I'm gonna talk to Allison, which is your name, but that is not we didn't, we had nicknames, college nicknames.

unknown: 52:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 52:07

Well, thanks again for sharing everything. It was awesome to have you on here. And obviously, you and I will chat again. Yes, thank you so much. If you found value in this episode, maybe you learned something new, please share the link to the podcast, share the episode, tag me on Instagram at motherhood underscore intended. I love to see who's listening and your feedback has been awesome. The more people we can reach, the more women we can support. So I really appreciate you sharing this show. And if you have any feedback for the podcast, I would love if you could write a review. On Spotify, you just send in a rating and on Apple, you can actually write a review along with your rating. So I would so appreciate it. If you're wanting to discuss this episode further or just gain some support from some like-minded women, we do have our motherhood intended community group on Facebook. I will link it in the show notes, but please join us. We are gonna be discussing the different episodes. You can connect with women who you have things in common with, ask questions, learn from each other, vent about motherhood, share a funny meme. It's an awesome community with over 300 people in it right now, and we would love to have you. So head to the link and join us. I wanted to let you in on another fun update with the podcast. We have some bonus episodes in the works. Make sure you follow the podcast on your favorite podcast app, whether that's Apple, Spotify, or any other app you use, subscribe to the show so you can stay in the loop. Those will be popping up soon and you won't want to miss it. Spoiler alert my husband will be making an appearance on the podcast with me. And we've got some lighthearted, fun episodes in store for you just to get to know us a little bit more and to get the man's perspective on some of these topics. Thanks again for listening. Be sure to tune in on Monday, and I will talk to you soon.