How to Let Your Purpose Evolve in Motherhood with Katelyn Denning

In this episode, Jacqueline discusses significant life transitions and reflections on her purpose, mainly triggered by her journey into motherhood. She introduces her guest for the episode, Katelyn Denning, a coach who supports busy working moms find balance between their personal and professional lives. Katelyn shares her experiences navigating multifarious roles and responsibilities, explaining how our purpose can be constantly evolving and shifting. They both emphasize the importance of self-reflection, experimentation, following curiosity, and trusting oneself when making life decisions to feel more in control and fulfilled.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates

00:56 Introducing the Guest: Katelyn Denning

01:49 The Struggles of Being a Working Mom

02:18 Katelyn Journey into Coaching

03:39 The Constant Reevaluation of Purpose in Motherhood

07:16 The Impact of Motherhood on Personal Identity

09:45 Finding Purpose Outside of Motherhood

14:59 The Role of Podcasting in Personal Growth

20:07 Exploring What's Next: Embracing Uncertainty

20:51 The Power of Experimentation: A Personal Journey

21:29 The Role of Self-Reflection in Personal Growth

22:40 The Art of Listening to Yourself: A New Perspective

23:16 Small Actions, Big Impact: A Personal Story

26:21 Overcoming Overwhelm: Practical Advice

27:55 The Power of the Pause: A New Approach

31:42 The Evolution of Purpose: A Fresh Perspective

37:25 The Role of Coaching in Personal Development

39:42 Final Thoughts and Reflections

•  Join the Motherhood Intended Community
•  Follow @motherhood_intended on Instagram
•  Leave a review for the podcast
• Apply to be a guest on the show
• Connect with Katelyn Denning of Mother Nurture!

Struggling to conceive? Download this *free* Month-by-Month Roadmap to Your Fertility Success to help you stay calm and focused on your journey to baby.

Brilliant Beaver Guidebook - Audio Version
Engage kids aged 6-9 with fun, screen-free activities from the world of scouting

Chapters

• 20:13 [Ad] Brilliant Beaver Guidebook - Audio Version
• 21:01 (Cont.) How to Let Your Purpose Evolve in Motherhood with Katelyn Denning

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to the podcast. I'm gonna keep today's intro pretty short and sweet because it has been a busy week for me and I really just want you to hear this episode.

Not much to catch you up on other than I am in like full nesting mode, working on the nursery, making sure we have everything we need. Friends of mine hosted a Sprinkle for me, got some new things for baby, and this week, we are taking the family to go visit our surrogate in Texas, meet her family, see her and her bump, .

I'm super excited. We all are going to do a 3D, 4D ultrasound so we can all see baby girl together, hang out for the day, take some pictures. It's my oldest birthday too. So he's turning six. We're going to celebrate his birthday in Texas and I'm just feeling all the feels about that. But needless to say, there's been a lot going on.

So I really just want to introduce my guest for today because I loved our conversation. It's so authentic and what we're talking about, I'm sure will hit home. So today on the show, you will hear my conversation with Caitlin Denning. She's a coach for busy working moms who are tired of feeling like life is just one long to do list. As a full time working mom of three young children, ages nine, six, and four, Caitlin understands what it's like to juggle all of the different roles and responsibilities as a mom, professional, and woman.

Through her coaching practice, Mother Nurture, proshe helps women feel confident in their identity as a working mom, figure out their priorities in life, and make the most of their time so they can be more present with their family, in their work, and in their lives.

Kaitlyn lives with her family in Cincinnati, Ohio, and while her me time doesn't look the same as it did before kids, she still finds time to read, Garden, workout, and enjoy a hot cup of mushroom coffee. Take a listen.

Hi, Katelyn. Welcome to the podcast. 

Hi, I'm so excited to be here. 

Yes, I'm so excited to talk with you. And we're going to be discussing, you know, this topic of  how can women find their purpose and redefine it after a major life change. And I'm so excited to pick your brain.  When I got an email from you, I was reading through the different topics that you can talk through, you know, you're, you're a coach for working women and.

My mind was going crazy. I was like, okay, what I there's a million things. I specifically could use some coaching and some insight on. But this topic is the one that resonated with me the most. So before we kind of dive in, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?  I know your mom and  what got you into coaching and led you down this path?

Yeah. Happy to give you a brief overview. I don't want to take up too much time, but I am a life coach for busy working moms. And I've been doing that full time for a year and a half, but we could talk more about this because I think it does relate to kind of finding your purpose. And I'm sure you have a similar story as well.

Started long before that, as I sort of dipped my toe in and built my practice alongside working full time. I do have three children. They are nine, seven and just turned five. So I'm getting used to the ages. I'm based in Cincinnati, Ohio. And my background is in a variety  of roles and industries. 

Everything from Marketing and event management to fundraising and higher education work. And then most recently had all three of my children while working a corporate job  in technology, sales and product management. So lots of transitions, lots of points. In my life before kids and after kids where I've had to have this question,  what do I want to do next? Where am I headed? What is the big goal? And so I love this topic. It's one that comes up so often as well for my clients. 

absolutely. I know for me, it's come up in multiple ways over the years since having kids, since diving into IVF, you know, six, seven years ago, that kind of shifted my work plans and goals as well.

 you know, As a mom, you're always pulled in one direction or another. And I don't know about you, but I just was convinced with my first that I was going to do all of the things and it was going to be fine.

I was like, babies are  I mean, like, they can't move yet. They can't talk. Like, I was working from home at the time when I had my first son and I was like, I don't need a nanny. Like, I have a flexible work schedule. I mean, it was full time work, but I'm like, you know, it'll be, it'll be fine. And sure enough, yeah, I mean, I think it was three months into having him home that I. Hired a part time nanny and I was like, okay, fine. Maybe I can't do it all by myself. And by the time my son was one years old, I decided that it just wasn't working for me. And I just, at that point, I decided to stay home full time with my son  which later transitioned like a few months later into getting a part time job because I didn't feel fulfilled. And it's like this constant journey of trying to figure out your purpose  outside of being a mom and making it all kind of feel balanced. 

Yeah. I do sometimes think about pre kids. Were there as many instances or opportunities to re evaluate and, and I don't know, it seems Yeah. So far long ago, but  there is something about the journey either to becoming a mom or actually, you know, having kids, having subsequent children that is this consistent reevaluation.  And I have my thoughts about why that is.  But it is a question that comes up so often, and I think when so much changes in our circumstances.

Like, that's a perfect example. We have this idea of what having a newborn will be, and we could totally work, you know, and do all the things. And then you realize, right, oh, everything I thought this was going to be is completely different. I'm different. And I feel unsettled by that. What am I doing? What is the goal? What am I aiming toward that sort of brings up this question of purpose, which is a really big word, too. 

Yeah,  and so much of it too is just the unknown,  you know, our kids are always changing. So once they're here, you know, even when you get a hold of like, okay, I can do this job or I can do this part of my career well in this phase, this season, and then all of a sudden your kids change, you know, they get older, they have different needs, different schedules.

And it's like a constant, yeah, just trying to pivot.  The unknown is what, for me, what rocked my world, you know, as a type a like planner through and through, you can't. control somebody else and what you don't know, you know, you're constantly learning as a mom. So that was for me,  I think the hardest part of  realigning with my purpose and just trying to like figure it all out was just the unknown.

Yeah. Yes. I think that is at the crux of all of it.  We all love to feel a sense of control when, you know, really, of course, there's really very little that we control in our lives. But it is  this need , to feel that way. And so I think the word of it. Purpose  or having that sort of defined for yourself is what we cling to, to create that, that safety that feeling of, okay, we know what we're here to do and, and it's a great thing, but it also, I think can put a lot of pressure on someone to figure it out, to know what that is. And when you don't,  where do I, what do I, what am I doing?  

Yeah, and everything is just like heightened too in motherhood when you, you don't know what you're doing, you know, it's, it's overwhelming when you have your first baby   and then not to mention postpartum and just all of the emotions and how you change physically and mentally.

I think that was the part that really surprised me was just  I didn't have the same goals anymore, actually, and I wasn't expecting to feel that way. I was happy in my career, and I just was going to make it work. Being a stay at home mom was not even remotely on my radar. I didn't grow up with a stay at home mom.

My mom had a flexible job. She was always there for us, but that's just kind of what I envisioned for my life. And you know, my oldest son was born super premature. And Had a long NICU stay and then therapies following, you know, for the next couple years. And it was just so much. And you can't plan for that, obviously.

And it just really, my priorities shifted. And that was the first time I was like, Oh, I have no idea what the future holds. I thought that I was like going to be this mom and continue on in my career that I had built over the last, you know, five years. And, and it just was flipped upside upside down because priorities just change.

Yeah. That's such a great example, too, and I hadn't thought about it before you just said that, I think, too, there are seasons where  purpose is defined for you. So, I don't know if you would feel that way, but, you know, when you have a premature baby and you, Are in a NICU situation for I know for you was an extended period of time  that is your purpose.

You didn't choose that you didn't set out right to go create that it is just the circumstances are there. And so  you could tell me if I'm wrong, but everything else kind of falls to the background. Yeah, and that is what you, you wake up, right? Thinking about and when am I going to be there? And how are we going to tag team these visits  and all the things that have to happen to be able to bring your baby home.

 And then there are seasons where. And I think these probably are a little bit more challenging because it feels, you know, no one's telling you there is no  set of circumstances. That's kind of saying,  this is your priority right now. This is the thing. And you have to choose that for yourself.

From all of the options that, you know, stay home, go back to work, change careers start up as a side project, or is my family  my purpose, or is it this other thing? And that is where we can be sort of overwhelmed and almost paralyzed by choice. 

 Yeah, absolutely. That's. Like a really good point. I never really thought about it like that  it's chosen for you. And that's exactly what it was with the NICU. And even prior to that, you know, having to do IVF  kind of put a wrench in my work and things and I had to work around that and knowing that that was how we were going to grow our family, at least at that time, we thought like going forward, I was just going to be on me.

And it's an extra layer of  stress and physically and financially and all the things.  That was hard, you know, having it chosen for you, but also it was like, this is what I got to do. It was like in that mode. It was kind of when the dust settled where you would think that, okay, okay.

You know, my kids are thriving, they're older, they're in preschool and kindergarten, and now what?  When you have all these choices, and all of a sudden it's up to me,  I'm not in this, like, survival mode, or a very focused role, that's definitely when it gets Confusing and you can feel lost in motherhood of like, Oh, I, what should I do with my time? What else is there for me? 

Yeah. Now what? Now? Yeah. That's probably the question that like runs through everybody's head. Now what? 

Yeah, for sure.  So how did you feel? After you had your first son and what kind of led you? To pivot your careers  did you have aha moments where you were or confused moments that kind of led you down this path? 

Oh, my gosh. Yes,  and it's so interesting to look back now with each child, it felt like a different question and because, of course, but in the moment I was like, why do I have to continue to reevaluate and make this choice over and over again, but with each pregnancy and each birth and shift to our family.

I was a different person. And so different questions came up for me. With my oldest who's nine. I also grew up with a working mom. She was a teacher and Assumed that I would go back to work as well. I loved my work. I loved that part of my identity and Honestly had a really challenging maternity leave with him, you know, he was your colicky not sleeping always unhappy sort of baby  I went back to work and  Sort of assumed maybe in the way that you did where it's like, well, of course I'll just you know, do all the things and have this baby alongside and it was like I went from being so or organized and, you know, productive and efficient at work to like showing up and feeling like my brain was soup and I was tired and I didn't know how I was going to do this, but I really wanted to do this.

And so it was just this identity crisis of what has happened to me? Who is this person that's sitting down at my desk every day in the office? I can't even do those types of things. And so, yeah, I don't think for me at that. point it was, do I want to work?  I still wanted to do that, but like,  how can I do this?

This is not working. And so it was this question of like changing the way I'd always done things before because I was different. Yeah.  And then with my second child, my daughter, I actually was was sort of sad to go back to work at that point. I don't think I truly considered staying home, but  it was with her birth that I really leaned into the coaching.

And so it was more a question of what else is out there for me. I want to fill this, need or desire that I have to do something a little bit different. And that led me to coaching. Whereas with my third, I actually did consider staying home and it was again, this identity crisis of, yeah. I've built this business coaching working moms, and now I feel like I'm not even sure that I want to work. 

And so with each one, that question of now what, now what, now what, what is this going to look like with all of  the options and choices in front of me is, was, I want to say terrifying. Yeah. Very unsettling, very annoying at, at, at times of, of how do you make those choices. 

I think it's so important that you mentioned that like, that you were different because I always think about it as like,  the situation's different. You go from one kid to two kid or you're working or not working, but  as a woman, as a mom, like you're constantly changing, like your personality, who you are is constantly changing. You know, they always tell you like, oh, motherhood will just change you. Mother will change you. And Yeah.

Like I heard it, but I didn't realize the amount of changes that would happen in myself over the years and with each child because you're so right.  I felt the same way. I,  had different experiences with every child and. With Hunter and having him in the NICU for so long being my first I was like, I at the one year mark,  I was like, I want to soak up every minute of this.  After going through infertility and finally having a baby at home with us. I was like, I feel like this was the job I've been working for for so long.  And then when I had a second, COVID hit, I had two under two and was overwhelmed, and I was like, whoa, like, this is a way different experience.

I'm feeling that I'm not even being my best self as a mom. I need something, an outlet outside of just doing this. And, you know, I'll be really interested to see. How I changed with a third and especially, you know, being born via surrogacy and  it's just a totally different experience. But for me, the podcast was, I wish I had help getting there. It probably would have gotten to this aha moment sooner.  I didn't realize I was doing this at the time. I just was kind of trying to stay busy through grief and challenging times in our fertility journey and um, started the podcast about a little over a year ago.

And for me, that was the moment that I was like, okay, this is my pivot. This is where I am. I need to bring my personal joy back into my life. I need to feel purpose outside of motherhood, outside of, you know, I had spent close to a with my number one purpose of. Trying to conceive, carry a pregnancy safely, grow our family.

And when we first decided, you know, that surrogacy is the best option for us to grow our family, it was like this weight off my shoulders, but also terrifying. Because I was like, I don't even know who I am without trying to conceive and trying to be pregnant. So that was a big shift for me. And I think just out of panic and fear, I was like, okay, I need to do something.

And here we are a year later, and for me, it's my purpose in this season, and I hope the next, but it's it's scary just kind of jumping out there. And when you get to a point where you realize, like, this isn't working, I'm not my best self for my kids. I'm not my best self for my husband. It's  that fork in the road where you're like,  what now? Cause this isn't, it doesn't feel right to me. 

Yeah. Do you remember? I'm so curious because I want to talk a little bit more hopefully in a few minutes about like some questions and strategies if you are in that place where you're asking what now or what next, but when you felt like I think you used the word outlet.

I want an outlet. I want something. How did you like, why podcasting? Yeah. Kind of what, what little moments can you look back on now and be like, Oh yeah, of course that's why I chose that. But how did that come up in like even your field of awareness or as an option? Do you remember? 

That's a really good question. I had always listened to podcasts. Like I was.  I'd say an early adopter of podcasting, like I didn't have friends that were like into podcasts at the time  and really I found podcasts out of desperation when we first started trying to have a family. I found like an infertility podcast and I found it really helpful.

 And that was probably back in like 2014,  I think. And so that was the podcasting listening podcast was just kind of always on my radar, but over the years with  everything I've been through in our fertility journey  just being diagnosed with infertility and IVF and miscarriage and the NICU and just all the things I've experienced along the way,  I kind of fell into being open about it on social media just because I was just naive and like posted that we were expecting and then two weeks later,  we 

Had two miscarriages and it was kind of just out there in the world and I couldn't take it back. So, I realized in that moment that it was It's actually very helpful being open about it. And the amount of messages I got, like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, but like, I've actually experienced a miscarriage too.

And, and it kind of just snowballed over the years, not really intentionally just being open with our journey and small little pieces like, you know, I didn't announce we were going through IVF, but when my son was born,  I started talking about it a little bit more and shared our NICU story. And it, I found that it was so fulfilling connecting with other women on these different journeys and just knowing that I wasn't alone and they weren't alone. And I'm like, why aren't people talking about this? We've all been through this.  Why aren't people talking about it? And  unfortunately I have a lot of experiences and I'm just going to say content that I've gathered over the last decade.

And so it kind of just popped in my head, I didn't know at first podcasting, I was like, what, how can I,  you know  I kind of sought out to just help other people. I was like, okay, if I'm not helping myself, I'm not wrapped up in fertility treatments and trying to, Grow my family with me physically,  I want to help other people.

 I did go to school for broadcasting. So I've just always been interested in,  video production, audio production, all of that. But when I started the podcast, what I wasn't prepared for is that it really became. like therapy for me.

I sought out to do it for other people, but the more I talked about my own journey and shared my experiences it's been really healing for me and I didn't know I needed that.  And so that's why I think a year later I'm still doing the podcast because I'm constantly learning more about myself and connecting with other people.

And yeah, I think that's kind of why I, all the pieces kind of came together in podcasting just. I felt right, but I didn't realize how much I  needed that purpose. I just kind of desperately was like, I don't know, let's just start something to help people. And it's been great.  

Yes. Okay. I love that. And what came up for me while you were sharing that story and for any of your listeners who might be like grappling with this question as well is. So much of that was just like following your curiosity in a way   I mean, you asked so many great questions just within that sort of recap of, you know, why isn't anyone sharing their story or how could I share this?

What would that look like? Oh, I've always loved podcasts. Oh, I have this background. And so much of it. I think when you are exploring what's next, it can feel heavy or like this pressure to figure it out, which actually kind of makes us more stuck. And when you can think about it as this experimentation, this exploration, I think you said like, yeah, I'll give it a try and see what it's like. And oh my gosh, you know, I hope it's with me for another season or two of my life, but you know, when our family changes again, if that's not the case, like that's okay too. 

Yeah, it's interesting because that's so against like my typical way of thinking, you know, I'm always like, Okay, I need to have a plan. What's the goal here? Where do I want it? Where's where am I trying to get to? And this project was the very first time I was like, yeah, let's just Go for it. What do I have to lose? I'm lost right now. I don't know what's next for me. And I think because of that, like you said, like I just kind of followed my gut and just didn't have an end game.

I was like, I'm just going to see what happens. And it. Turns out I feel like when you find something that is aligning with who you are in that moment and your life,  I think it's going to naturally snowball and just kind of become successful. At least that's what I've experienced because I'm enjoying it. and I didn't  put that pressure on myself for once to like, not have this like end goal specifically. 

Yes, I love that so much. So one of the challenges that I love to give to anyone who's grappling with this question, I'll get to it in a minute, but I'm a huge fan, of course, of like, self reflection questions and whether those are questions that you talk through with a coach, you know, someone who can hold that space for you to sort of explore your own mind and thoughts, or whether you do that just while you're walking or doing yoga, or you're a journaler and you want to write those questions down and think about, you know,  who am I, or why am I feeling this way? Sort of dissonance in my life right now. You know, what is the answer to the question? What's next? And sit with that silence to allow those answers to come up. That's amazing. But that can feel heavy  and mentally taxing.  And sometimes it's a slow process. Like as much as I would love to sit down with my journal and my pen and ask myself that question and immediately have the answer.

That's not. Really? Usually how it works. Yeah. And so I think there are small things that you can do that may not be ever directly related to what ultimately becomes your purpose, but that. Remind you of experimentation of play of curiosity  of flexing and strengthening the muscle of listening to yourself so that when you have the idea or like podcasting flashes through your mind, you're like, Oh, I want to follow that.

I want to listen to that. I want to explore that. And so I often say like, in small ways, what can you  do not just think about, but actually do that is following fun, inspiration, curiosity, whatever word resonates for you. And so I'll, I'll share a story because it makes me laugh, but it was so helpful for me.

I was feeling a little,  I'm going to use the word dissatisfied this past summer, like my, you know, you go through the seasons when life just feels sort of monotonous. Yeah. And, and so maybe it wasn't like a pivotal, what is my purpose question, but it was a, what am I doing? Yeah. Yeah. What am I doing? And I decided  to take these small actions to like follow what I felt like was fun and joyful at the time.

And for me, that was nail polish. Okay, yeah I'm sitting here today with my unpainted nails because life has been busy. But usually I was like, okay, I'm going to start painting my nails again. I hadn't done that since COVID when I stopped going out and getting them done or whatever. And so I allowed myself, I went to Olive and June's website and I allowed myself to open up all those crazy colors and without overthinking it, like put four or five.

Colors in my cart. Yeah, just like whatever I felt drawn to and they were like neon colors bright Like things that would not be in my very sort of neutral color palette. Mm And so I did something as silly as just painting my nail these bright colors, and that felt so fun,  but it led to other things like listening to, I don't know, music that I had never listened to before, buying a pair of these like crazy tropical pants.

If you go on my Instagram, they have a spot on my feed because I love those pants. Love it. Right? And so it became this What started as just nail polish color led to doing other things in my business again and in my life again that felt like me.  And so I think there's something so impactful about in the small ways just following those nudges or urges or whatever you want to call them to like paint the purple nail color.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eat this thing for dinner or go on this spontaneous bike ride that develops that muscle of listening and trusting yourself that, yeah, I can do things without creating a plan and overthinking it and having to analyze all of the options. I can just. Hit play on that song because oh my gosh, I just really want to listen to whatever that is.

So that when you are later on Grappling with or thinking about questions about who am I? How do I want to show up in this world? It's like what am I doing all of this for? You're more attuned to or more trusting of the random things that come up. Like I wonder if I started a podcast Or for me, I wonder if I started a blog, which is how my business started. Let's see. Right? Yeah. And so  it can be those great big questions and it can be, let me just follow what feels interesting right now in this moment. Yeah. I trust that. 

That is so helpful because I think you mentioned it earlier, you said how you can feel like almost paralyzed when things just seem so big and this has happened to me or if I get overwhelmed or anxious about something, you know, instead of getting things done, just something simple, you know, say I have a to do list and I'm just so overwhelmed that I actually end up just doing nothing and even just cranking away at the list.

And sometimes it can feel like that too  when you know you're not happy or you're trying to figure it all out,  that's such good advice. You don't have to sit down and be like, what is my purpose in life? Like just switch it up. I love that. Like, just go for it. And you're so right.

It will change your thinking and it will just kind of get the ball rolling where you might not know where it's going, but it's, it's going somewhere.  Easy to get stuck in routines and the mundane every day to day life, especially in motherhood  you're trying to keep your kids on a schedule and meal prep and just all the regular day to day things that, yeah, I've been in those seasons too, where I wake up and I'm like, ugh, like  what are we doing here?

Like, what am I doing? This is so repetitive and it doesn't have to be this grand. Aha moment. I love that so much. It's crazy how things like that can change our mood, change our thinking just by like, yeah, playing a new song, doing some activity that you haven't done in a long time.  That's actually when I feel like I find, you know, my best  so Ideas is when I am just letting go and doing something new and that happens often, you know, in the last year of podcasting, I feel like every few months.

I'm like, okay,  I know things need to change or I need to level up, but I'm just kind of stuck going through the motions. And sometimes you just have to like, take a step back or take a pause. And I forget who told me this, but I love the phrase. There's power in the pause. Because I always feel like when I, Okay.

And pause, or even look back on how far I've come, like reflection, like you said, it  catapults me forward always when I can just kind of take a step back or look back and it's clarity, right? To help you figure out, who you are and what's, what's next. 

Yes, yes, yes. And I think too, when you were talking about sort of the honest truth that there are lots of parts of motherhood that are just.

Monotonous or mundane and, and you can get just sort of stuck in this repetitive cycle that I think also  what I see a lot is that because of that, I think, or, or that just sort of supports this, we stop listening to ourselves. It's not even about prioritizing yourself or finding time for yourself, whatever, you know, that means, but we, we stopped listening to ourselves.

We default to the mom's Facebook group, right, to let everybody else weigh in on what's that. Weird rash, you know, my child has, or, or  we ask our partners or our friends or Google, and we spend all of this time looking externally for, is this normal? What should I do? And I see that also when you are grappling with those bigger questions of what should I do next?

What is my purpose? I mean, how many times have you Google. Outsourced that question to a friend or your husband or partner or someone else who may give you some ideas, but ultimately like we'll never know the answer to that.  And so listening to and trusting and hearing our own voice again is a skill, is a muscle.

And I think it starts with the little things. What do I actually want? To eat for dinner, what do I want to listen to in the car and building that over time so that, yeah, you can hear your own voice through everybody else's opinions and thoughts. 

Yeah, that's a really good point. It is definitely very noisy in general but in the motherhood space for sure, especially as a new mom, you know, you are turning to all the support groups, which are great, but like, You kind of lose it along the way, you kind of forget, like you said, to  listen to yourself and turn in and checking in with yourself,  I learned this, too, you know, I thought I would be more prepared going from one child to two, and I felt  Like, even  less prepared, like, I, different child, different personality, different situation and so this time around, I am  fully, ready for just,  our daughter, in a few months, I'm like, I can't wait to meet her, we don't know her, like, I, it's going to be a totally separate situation, I am  a more seasoned mom, but now there'll be three of them, and it's just, it's always good to trust yourself and do that often. It's just not because you figured out one thing, the next three years are going to just be like, same, same. It's always constantly evolving. 

Yes, I know. I'm always like, you're a new mom all over again, because you're a mom to two or two, three or whatever the number is. Yeah, I think that's actually, you are so great at  making a segue for the next thing. But I,  I think that's such a great point as well, tying it back to finding your purpose. And  I don't know if you have ever felt like this. But when you have been at those sort of crossroads, or feeling like, Things are not what I want right now and, and what is next  that again, along the same lines of  those big questions and that sort of pressure to figure that out.

I think there is this unspoken definition of purpose as well,  that your purpose is longterm. And I don't know if that's because we look at, I don't know, famous historical figures or celebrities or whatever who like their purpose in this world, right, is to eradicate this or be this whatever. And I think to the point of, this is a season or I'm transitioning  to being a mom or to this infertility journey or a mom to two or whatever it is that.

Our purpose can be constantly shifting, changing, evolving. And so when you are answering that question of what's next, you can also allow it to be what's next for now, or, you know, what is my purpose for this season of my life? That it doesn't have to be. You know, the North Star that you will follow from today until the day you die, that it can be, sure, a guiding light.

But again, there's no long term contract, you know, binding contract that you're signing with it. It can just be for now, what do I want to focus on or what's the priority or direction for my life? 

Yeah, that's so helpful. That is something I wish I would have understood at the beginning of motherhood because  everything felt so So big and permanent and you know when I left my full time job, like it rocked my world  I think I almost panicked which is why like three months later I found a part time job because I was like, this is not what I want.

I don't want it. I want a career I You know, I panicked. I couldn't see it at the time that this was going to be, this is a season. And  it feels right that this is the priority to be home.  But externally and just with my vision of what I thought I had wanted, I just, it felt so permanent and that's so helpful just to keep in mind that, yeah, everything is always evolving and like that you're not  signing a contract, like you're not signing your life away with any decision that you make. 

And so I think for anyone listening,  who is a new mom or even someone in the throes of infertility, or maybe you're at the end of your fertility journey, and you're reevaluating what parenthood might look for you, that's so important to keep in mind, because  you're not married to any one decision It's ever changing for sure.

I think that if you're sitting there listening to this thinking, I don't know if I buy that. Yeah. Like I want, I want that, forever purpose. Right. I always use my resume as the perfect example of that. So I shared in the beginning, right, I have a background in. Marketing and nonprofits and event management and blah, blah, blah, right?

And so if you look at my resume now, I'm a life coach. It's like, what, you know, what bouncing from here to there. But for me sitting here, looking back at all of those different jobs and industries and careers really that I went through, I can see the thread. I could tell you right now, if I were interviewing for a job, how So everything on my resume makes perfect sense because it led me to where I am today.

Yeah. And so if you think about your purpose in that way as well, in the moment, or from season to season, it may look like you're bouncing around. You know, right now I'm really focused on this thing, and then, oh, I did, you know, go back to work, or I, whatever it is, and it feels like I'm bopping all over the place. You can trust that you're going to look back when you're 85 or 90, and it's going to make perfect sense. 

Yeah, I relate to that a lot and it's only been apparent to me in the last like year or so, but I think it's something, and I don't know if it's the generation or what, but, you know, it was like, you have to stay at a job for, like, when I was out of college, you know, it's like, you have to stay a job for at least a year,  make sure your resume looks like this.

And there was all this pressure to the longevity  whether it felt aligned with my life or not, kind of just keep that going. And I do think there's been a shift now, maybe younger moms or you know, just people in their twenties and stuff  that's not as big anymore.

You know, everyone's kind of doing their own thing now with everything remote and just the opportunities that are out there. I think it's a little easier, but that was a big thing for me to realize is that, like, I haven't wasted time. I didn't take pauses. Everything is constantly moving forward.

And like you said, it's all being woven together and  I mean, I would have never looked at my resume and been like. How did I end up here, like, podcasting about  motherhood, and that was not where I started,  a decade ago  but it all makes sense, and I could, same thing, I could tell you how I got to where I am today, and even for the moms who are stay at home moms, and maybe that's not forever, maybe that's the season that you're I learned this as well.

You're not, wasting time. This is all, like, building where your next journey is going to take you and you will eventually be able to look back on it, at least in my opinion, and be like, oh, my goodness,  honestly, in some,  regard, I feel like I learned way more in Two years of being a stay at home mom than I did at some of the jobs I've had.

So  and for people who are hiring too, I feel like they are, they are getting better too, at looking at,  moms and realizing like the skills that they bring to the table. Just because their resume doesn't say, you know, they worked at this company. You're always building your path for what's next. So 

a hundred percent. Yes. And that is your purpose for that season. 

Totally. 

So good. It doesn't have to be, right? Yeah. So heavy, so big. It can be fun. It can be shorter term  and eventually it will all weave itself together into this beautiful sort of legacy. I love to think about that word. 

Yeah. I love that.

Of my purpose in this world or in this life. 

Yes. I love that. I love that.  So with your coaching, I'm curious, is it, do you do one on one coaching? Is it like a group scenario? How are you helping women navigate all of this and you know, the working mom, what does that look like? 

Yeah. Both. All of the above.

Okay. Awesome. 

Yeah. Yeah. And I have found that  everyone is looking for something a little bit different. And that's the beauty of coaching, that it is a space for you to explore, whether that is, you know, your career change or what your purpose is, or it's, I want to,  Find time for myself or get back to doing hobbies  or I want to focus on friendships or my marriage.

It is about you just through the lens of,  what it is like  to manage the responsibilities of a family and a home and some form of work or something that you do in addition to those things. And so. Yeah, I support clients one on one for those  who want that space to be solely theirs and explore what they want.

I do lead small group programs that are in eight weeks of sort of going through a set curriculum together and exploring topics and conversations in that group setting where you get to. Connect with other women who are in a similar situation or life stage or season as you and hear their ideas and what they're doing and support each other in that way. 

And then I am, I, I love calendaring and planning and I think there's so much that we can create when we put the things that deserve to be on autopilot on autopilot. And so I do planning intensives as well for someone who is like, I just need another brain alongside mine to figure out why my days or my schedule or. The way I'm doing things isn't working and so I love to do those one off sessions as well that are a little more like consulting and less like coaching. 

Yeah,  that's so amazing. So helpful , in so many ways. And I know any mom listening can relate or has raised their hand at one point to being like, I need help in this area or I feel stuck and What an amazing opportunity you're  giving people to help in that way. 

This has been such an insightful conversation. I love this so much. It has me like reflecting on my, the whole like last five years of my life and just  I hope anyone listening now is feeling encouraged to, you know, don't stay stuck. There's so many good nuggets of information that you've. shared in this episode.

And I love your Instagram account too. So for anyone listening, check it out. You are always posting all these helpful things.  I was like scanning it again today and I was like, Oh my gosh, things for the holidays, helpful tips.   It's an account to follow. I just have to say, so for anyone listening, make sure, make sure you check that out just for little tidbits to get you through each day. So 

I love it. I have so much fun over there. It is the behind the scenes of. Working mom life with three young kids and still finding time  to read and paint my nails Yeah, those types of things too. 

I know I saw that one of your posts was like how you read It was like over a hundred books and you're a working mom and I was like, I need to know how he did this 

I will say my Podcast listening has gone down the more I read. So there is a trade off. 

There's always a trade off. I get that. I'm in a book club and it's like, I don't have enough time to consume all of this content. So just, it's a trade off for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I appreciate it so much. Thank you for being on the show and for chatting with me. This is so helpful.

Thank you for having me. It was an amazing conversation. I hope that everyone feels a little more empowered and excited to think about these questions in your own life. 

Yeah, absolutely. I know I feel empowered, so I'm hoping listeners do as well. 

Thank you. 

 Thanks for tuning in today. As always, check the show notes. There's links to everything in there. Connect with us on social. Apply to be a guest on the show. I am starting to record  for season four, which will come out in August. So before you tap out of your app, make sure you read the notes.

There's some other goodies in there for you as well. And stay tuned next week. I will be sharing details on our trip to Texas, but until then, I hope you have a fabulous weekend and I will talk to you then.