The Power of Consistency: How Small Habits Achieve Big Goals

In this episode, Jacqueline discusses the importance of habits and goal setting, using inspiration from mentors to stay focused. She provides practical advice on creating daily habits that align with personal and professional goals, emphasizing consistency over intensity. Jacqueline encourages listeners to find mentors they admire, write down their goals, establish daily habits, and reward themselves meaningfully to achieve long-term success. She also offers a free downloadable guide to help with goal mapping and invites listeners to join her community on Facebook for support.

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Transcript

Hey, it's Jacqueline. I want to jump right into today's episode. So today I'm going to be talking about habits and goal setting. Next week, I am headed to LA to attend Cathy Heller's It's Her Turn Summit. Now, I'm sure you've heard me talk about Cathy before, but she is who I took my podcasting course from. little over two years ago, I found her podcast, which at the time was called Don't Keep Your Day Job. And it was all about supporting those in the arts or entrepreneurial spirits. And then I started listening to her podcast and then I found her free course on podcasting only to be so psyched to sign up for her paid course and no regrets.

It was an eight week podcast course and literally I just followed step by step what she told me, launched the podcast and got featured on Apple podcast as a top trailer right away. And needless to say, I have not stopped. Yet. So I'm super excited to go to her summit and meet her in person for the first time.

It's going to be a great conference full of women entrepreneurs and podcasters. Christina Perri is going to be there. I'm a big fan. So stay tuned, but it's had me thinking on what I want to accomplish next. In the last episode I walked you through my guide for feeling grounded and focused on your journey to baby. And I mentioned that like this time of year I really am constantly thinking about goal setting. It's a good time to unwind Before the holidays kick in, so you're ready for the new year with new goals, new things to pursue, and honestly just feeling your best self. 

So the first thing I want to tell you guys is whatever you're trying to accomplish. My biggest suggestion is to find two to three people that you admire and learn from them. Instagram can be super overwhelming with brands and people all pushing their own agendas. I'm not sure if it's my type A personAlliety or undiagnosed ADD, um, but.

I get reeled into what others have to offer all the time.  I went through a period of time where I was taking every free webinar and every course and anything that sounded exciting to me, I was like, okay, that sounds simple. I'm just, I'm going to learn from them and I'm going to do that. But like, I was just getting wrapped up in it all  stay focused on how The people that you're following make you feel and not what they have to offer.

Because there are a lot of content creators out there and course creators that are offering so much. So stick to people that make you feel good. You know, not just what they have to offer. So for example, like I mentioned, Cathy Heller, every time I listened to her, I feel like I can accomplish She is such a bright light and her energy is something I align with and it's contagious.

Listening to her speak, I just like, I want to be on her frequency. I found Cathy Heller like I mentioned in her first podcast, signed up for her podcasting course, and while I've learned a lot from her, It's truly her energy that gave me the confidence and motivation to create, which is what put my podcast straight to the top.

The moment it launched, Cathy's content is always a reminder that the world is our oyster and we're meant to play and explore and accept abundance into our lives. So Cathy is one of those people that I admire and I keep her close. I listen to her content. I dive into  the things that she's sharing because I'm always pushing myself further when I follow what Cathy's doing. Another example of someone that I keep in my circle to that I admire is Allie Casazza. So I first listened to her podcast, which is called The Purpose Show, which had me focusing more on aspects of motherhood and decluttering my life. She has a great book called Declutter Like a Mother.

 And why I still admire her to this day is for her transparency, resilience, and constant ability to evolve her brand, her business, and her personal self. So like learning from her makes me feel powerful in my womanhood because she has changed her brand a lot. She's had personal changes go on in her life.

And I am just so impressed by how she's constantly reinventing herself to  whatever season she's in. And it feel so authentic and genuine. And so I love to follow Allie's work to make sure that I'm staying on that page. And then the last person in my own personal toolbox of mentors is Amy Porterfield.

So she worked for Tony Robbins years ago and has since built her own empire. Amy is like the most polished professional I admire. but she is always forthcoming with where she started and how she got to where she is today. And actually Cathy Heller, I learned later,  learned from Amy Porterfield, which makes sense why I like them both.

But I always learn the best advice from Amy,  as far as content, especially when it comes to list building and course creation. Her transparency with mental health is inspiring to me as well. It's always reassuring to know that even the most successful people struggle with different things alongside having career success.

Which is a good reminder that no matter what you see on social media,  not everybody has it all together. Even if they look successful in one area, they could be struggling in something else. So those three women are kind of who I look to as far as leadership and pulling ideas from and helping me focus on what I want, because I feel like my energy aligns with them and the work that they're doing. So those are just examples of my toolbox of mentors, but I encourage you to first find, one, two, three people to focus on and clear out the rest of the noise.  I just felt inspired to talk about habits and setting goals because it's easy to get stuck in a rut or in your like typical day to day life, especially when you're pursuing fertility treatments.

You know, it's hard to have a goal outside of pursuing your fertility treatments and trying to get pregnant. It's hard to stay focused  if you're navigating a health diagnosis or if you're a mom just pulled in a million directions. I know I often will have like A great idea that feels really exciting to me, but getting it to the next level, I often struggle with just because of all the other things I have going on in my life, which we all do,  you're a mom or not, whatever it is, we all wear a lot of hats, we juggle a lot of balls in the air, whatever you want to call it.

There's a lot going on and so sometimes it takes doing a little extra work to stay focused and setting habits in place that will get you to your goal. So whether it's a personal goal or a professional goal, I want you to take some time to think about the life you want. What is something that you're after?

On your social feeds? I know you're scrolling all kinds of women who appear to be successful and some are, but others are just tossing up a highlight reel, which can be deceiving.   let's not focus on others. Unless it's like your core group of people that I just talked about.

And instead, let's talk about creating habits and setting goals to really accomplish what you want and block out the rest of the noise.  So for starters, success isn't built on these like big monumental moments. It's honestly in the small stuff you build on every single day. Which is hard to see when you're in it, but it's true.

You're not just going to have this one big aha moment and everything's going to click into place. It's going to be the daily habits that you create that are going to support your goals. And your habits are key, they have to support your goals. or your goal will feel out of reach.

Which often happens to me. You know, I am working on a book and finishing this book and writing this book and making it happen seems so, so out of reach most days. So I myself am working on creating these daily habits to push me one step closer towards this goal. And that's what I want for you to daily routines will help align. With the biggest goals, I promise you to make big things happen. You have to start small. Look at what you're doing day to day. Even if it's not a professional goal, say your goal is to do IVF. Say you've had a number of experiences that have brought you to IVF and your goal is to do this and do it with grace.

 Make little habits, spend 10 minutes a day, maybe researching doctors or wake up and spend some time educating yourself on the process. Don't take it all on at once and just overwhelm yourself and have tunnel vision for IVF. My suggestion to you is to just build little tiny daily habits to get you to your goal, which will ultimately be. In this scenario, a successful IVF cycle. 

Why habits are so important is because motivation is honestly unreliable, right? We're all human. We will be motivated one day and like down in the dumps the next. It's up and down, you know, willpower can be hard in busy and tough times, especially like in motherhood and infertility.

So I want you to strive for consistency over intensity. And this is something that Allie Casazza always says, consistency over intensity, meaning you don't have to make one big move or do one big project in a day. You just need to be consistent. What is the one thing you can do every day to make reaching that goal inevitable? 

So for example, one of my goals, like I said, is to write a book. What's one thing I can do every day to reaching that goal? I can take 10, start with 10 minutes, 10 minutes a day writing. Maybe I wake up, brush my teeth, put my makeup on, get my coffee and write. That is the habit. And I'm telling you, start small.

Maybe your goal is to work out every day. Don't think you have to  go to the gym and do this hour long HIIT class. Start with five minutes a day. So think about what your goal might be. It might actually come to you right away. It might be something that you're like, Okay, this is what I've been wanting to do for so long, I'm doing it.

Or maybe you need to take some time and think about it. Hone it in. I know for me, you know, Like eight things come up. I'm like, okay, I need to create a thousand habits. So I can accomplish these eight goals. No, maybe write down one, two or three. Uh, but we're going to focus on one first.

And so once you have that goal, you're going to want to put these habits in place. So it's called habit stacking. I've been learning about this for a few different people. So here's an example of habit stacking.  Maybe my habit is going to be, Getting that writing in every day.

So after I have my coffee, maybe I do my makeup, and then I'm going to sit down and write for 10 minutes. It could be anything. It could be every day you Wake up, brush your teeth, and then you do a 20 minute workout at home. Whatever it is, they're kind of like how Allie has described it. It's like having anchors and rhythms, essentially.

You know, rhythms are gonna change. And anchors are what stay in place. So those anchors is what helps you with this habit stacking. And my biggest piece of advice is And this is kind of old school, but get like a paper calendar to cross off the days. So every single day that you did your habit. So every day, for example, that I write for 10 minutes, cross it off.

Having this visual is going to. literally help you so much to just to see the progress and it will help build momentum. And then once you have that habit in place, add to it, I would bump it up to writing for 30 minutes a day, or maybe I want to add, okay, I'm going to write. And then the new habit I'm going to add in is content creation.

It's something I want to be more consistent with. I'm consistent with the podcast content, but social media and YouTube and all these other things, emails that I've been building up and I've been wanting to tackle, not so consistent. That would be another habit I could stack on once I have the one in place.

So I want you to write down your top three goals, but start with focusing on one. Identify the daily habits to move you closer to these goals. For me, when something seems really important or like a big project that I have to tackle, especially, you know, for the entrepreneurs out there, you know, You're in charge, you have nobody else telling you what to do, you're essentially creating something from the ground up.

So for me, some of these things, I'll, I'm either one way or the other, I will  go on a roll where I am just like feeling the vibe and I am just like cranking out new ideas and making them happen. Or I go into like freeze mode, you know, if it's something that seems really big to tackle, I'll just put it off.

It's almost like the anxiety of it all just puts me in like freeze mode. So instead I'll do things like answer emails, clean out a closet, create a meal plan, things that make me feel accomplished and that I can just check off quickly in the moment so I can get that quick dopamine hit. But in reality, they're not moving the needle and aligning with my ultimate goal.

There are a lot of distractions out there and like I mentioned, as women and as moms, we wear a lot of hats. So am I constantly busy and am I constantly being productive? Yes. Yes. Almost to a fault. Like I need to force myself to like do nothing. Otherwise this happened to me recently. I literally was like going, going, going for like three weeks and I just took that in like two days.

My body was like, nope,  I'm just going to chill on the couch today. I am not going to clean. I am not going to work. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.    I don't suggest that. 

But there's a difference between being busy and productive and actually working towards the goal you have. And the goal you have is going to give you the life that you're thinking about the life you imagine. So here's kind of how Allie laid it out. You have a cue. You have a routine. And then you have a reward.

So the cue would be like the reminder to start your habit. Your routine is the action you want to make a habit. So routine would be writing every day. For me,  your routine could be working out every day, or your routine could be Doing some sort of self care every day, especially when your body is going through a lot in infertility.

And then the reward is some sort of like immediate benefit that reinforces that habit. So something like the reward would be like checking it off the list. Like I said, get that calendar. The reward could just be a feeling of calm or the endorphins after your workout. It doesn't have to be all or nothing either.

Nobody is perfect. Okay. So don't let one bad day turn into a spiral because that can be challenging as well. Give yourself some grace, have a plan for when you miss that day. When you miss the habit that day, maybe you slept in and can't get to the gym, do a quick 10 minute workout at home instead.

Didn't get 20 minutes of writing in right for five. It doesn't have to be All or nothing. Anything is better than nothing. And you want to strive for progress over perfection. Consistency is just showing up more often than not. Consistency isn't every day all or nothing. It's doing it more than you're not.

So forgive yourself quickly when you miss a day and just get back on track. You got this. Because we definitely don't need to be shaming ourselves, okay, ladies? Life is hard enough, so be kind to yourself. Habits should feel good. Even if it's hard at first, find your joy in the process.

Treat yourself to something small. When you hit a milestone, your brain loves rewards. You are going to remember how it felt to get that reward and you're going to want to do it again.   But make sure these rewards align with your goals. And this is something that Allie Casasa said on one of her podcast episodes.

And I never thought of it this way because I definitely get the whole reward process. It's something I've done with myself. You know, if you do X, Y, and Z, all right,  I'm going to watch a show. Or if I do all these chores, I'm going to have a glass of wine. That's my reward. Okay, we want to focus these.

Okay, make sure your rewards align with your goals. So for example, if you hit that workout goal, get yourself a new water bottle or a workout tank. Don't reward yourself with a Netflix binge or like a bag of candy that does not align with your goals. Although it is Halloween. So if you feel like getting after some candy, by all means, do you girl.

 For me, if it's writing, you know, maybe I hit my writing goal for the week and I buy myself a new notebook. New pens. I love office stuff. So maybe that's lame for some people, but that would really excite me. Okay. Make sure it aligns with your goals.  So here's my challenge for you this week. One, identify your top goal, maybe write two or three down, but I want you to focus on that first one  to list out the daily habits that will move you closer to this goal.

Remember, consistency is key. So start small. So you don't get overwhelmed and you can always build on this it. This isn't like a final. Notarize signs you'll deliver like you can always build more habits and work towards more goals. But in order to be successful and create the habit and get into the swing of things, focus on one thing at a time, three, like I just mentioned, figure out how you're going to reward yourself along the way.

Have a plan, have a plan. So it does align with your goals. , you know, Netflix and binge on candy reward is not the best when you're, when you have fitness goals. I don't know, you know, just make sure it aligns.

And lastly, identify a few people that inspire you. These should be people with an energy you're drawn to and a wisdom that aligns with your goals. Don't get distracted by all the shiny people on the internet. Okay? Find the few that resonate with you and block out the rest so you can stay focused. It's hard to focus these days.

Okay? Our phones are like, the best resource and our worst enemy all at the same time. And I can definitely say when I am stuck in a rut or feeling overwhelmed or stressed, like most people, you're going to find me like doom scrolling a little bit. And I don't see it in the moment as doom scrolling because I'm looking at people related to the things I want to do.

I am following women who are, creating and building businesses and podcasting and all these things that I find really exciting, but what am I doing? I am not focusing on myself and my goals. I am wasting time scrolling what everyone else is doing. So don't do that.  Find your core people, let them inspire you and give you all the good vibes and then block out the rest of the noise. 

And Hey, if I happen to be on your list of people, Feel free to reach out to me. I am here to support you. It doesn't matter what the goal is. If it has anything to do with motherhood or fertility, or even if it doesn't, if it's something I totally can't relate to, I'm happy to be your cheerleader and just keep you focused  and cheer you on as you go to reach your goal.

So I hope you found this helpful. I will be mapping out my own habits and goals this coming week. So let's do this together, friend. Let's do it. I mean, what better time, right? What better time than the present?  I did create a quick doc to help you get organized with writing out your habits and goals. So you can click the link in the show notes to save that PDF so you can edit it and have it on your phone.

Or even better, you could print it out and have that nice, Visual to look at.  So join us in the motherhood intended community group on Facebook. That way we can cheer each other on I'll start a thread so we can share what habits we're trying to create and what goals we're trying to work towards. And that way we can, cheer each other on and be each other's support team.

And if you're going through infertility or trying to conceive, be sure to grab my free guide to feeling grounded and focused on your journey to baby. Just like I talked about in this episode, there's a lot of distractions out there, and Especially in an infertility journey, your feelings can get the best of you.

And it is really easy to get sucked into something so personal like that. That goal of wanting to become a mom and create a family, it can give you some tunnel vision for a while. So I want you to kind of look at that guide and also think about the things I talked about today to really help you feel grounded so you can have the best experience on your path to motherhood.

No matter how difficult it is, and no matter which path you take, okay? I want you to have a good experience with it. Because that's one thing that I didn't have. I look back on our journey through infertility and loss, and so much of it took a toll on me.  I lost sight of what my career goals were. I put a lot of pressure on myself for something that I really couldn't control that much. What I could have controlled is my relationships,  my perspective,  my own mental and physical health, things that I could have controlled.

I did it. I was just too focused on getting pregnant and trying to have a baby. And for so much of that, it's out of your control. It's out of your control. Diagnosis are what they are.  Doctors are going to do their best. There is a lot you have to do on your own. As far as. Advocating for yourself and what your health goals are and your family goals. 

It's a lot, but  don't lose sight of yourself along the way, okay? Because I want you to be able to look back on that infertility journey and have fond memories. Be like, wow, I learned a lot. Wow. My relationship grew stronger. Wow. Even though we were going through some hard times, I started a new hobby or I was excelling in my career.

I don't want you to put your entire self and life on hold for one goal, even if it is something as big as becoming a mom.  So grab that free download. It's going to guide you. I've Have it broken out month by month, but you can start it anyway. It's really just so it's not, doesn't feel overwhelming. And couple that with what we talked today.

And I promise you, you are in good hands.  So like I mentioned next week, I'm headed to LA for the it's her turn summit. So if you don't already follow along with me on Instagram at motherhood underscore intended, I'm going to be sharing my real time experience with that. And then in next week's episode, you'll meet my best friend and hear her motherhood journey this far.

Thanks for tuning in today and I'll talk to you in the next episode.