The Village Chat: Creating Habits for an Intentional Year

NEW YEAR, NEW EPISODES!
A new segment of Motherhood Intended has been added! It's called 'The Village Chat' and it's a shorter weekly episode where Jacqueline welcomes someone from her village (family, friends, local moms, etc.) onto the show to have a little chit-chat! Different topics are touched on each week, but the hope is to balance out the sometimes heaviness of the of the show with some lighter topics and banter.

On the first segment of the Village Chat, Jacqueline is joined by her husband, Josh, to discuss their goals and habits for the new year. They talk about their new Big A## Calendar, organizing their schedules, and setting realistic daily habits. They share their plans to read more, prioritize health, and implement better daily routines. The episode focuses on setting processes rather than just goals and emphasizes the importance of being intentional about time management and family priorities.

Download Jacqueline's FREE Habit & Goal Tracker here!

ALL THE THINGS:

• Motherhood Intended website
• Join the (FREE) Motherhood Intended Community
• Follow @motherhood_intended on Instagram
• Leave a review for the podcast!
• Apply to be a guest on the show

00:00 Welcome to the Village Chat

00:54 Introducing the Big Ass Calendar

04:38 Setting New Year Habits

05:37 Daily Structure and Health Goals

13:21 Reading and Night Routines

16:49 Wrapping Up and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome to the newest segment of Motherhood Intended. That's right. I'm coming at you with a Second episode every week and we're calling it the village chat because each week with this added episode it's gonna be a little bit shorter, but i'm welcoming on someone from my personal village so Could be a family member could be a friend a local mom friend but we're just chatting on the mic, over something as simple as I don't know our kids chicken nuggets  or our birth control or Any quick topic that is top of mind for the week, I will be welcoming on somebody to chat with me about it.

So today on the very first episode of the Village Chat, I have my husband, Josh. 

Heyo!  Back and ready for action.

Oh yes. New year, same husband. 

Oh yeah.  

And with it being a new year, at the beginning of the year,  it's been top of mind like most people.  Organizing our calendars, creating new habits. Setting goals for ourself, you know, really just kind of reflecting on last year and looking ahead to this year and, uh, you know, figuring out what we might want to do differently. 

That's right.  Calendars is probably the number one,  issue in our home. I'm pretty bad at scheduling and or remembering that something's on the calendar. So we went out and purchased the big ass calendar.  

This is true if you've never heard of it. I don't even know how I came across it. Did you send it to me on Instagram? 

No, I did not but the guy, the guy who has it is a gentleman named Jesse, I think it's  

I don't know.  

He's a serial entrepreneur. 

Yeah. But it's, it's awesome. We're going to hang it up in the office and we're going to, we're going to tackle it month by month.  

Well, the thing with a big ass calendar is that why it's different than any other calendar. And unlike you, I, I'm not the best at managing it all, all the time because you know, as our family gets. It's bigger and as our kids get older, there's a lot more moving parts, right? For everybody's schedules and everybody's needs and your work travel and me trying to work and kids activities and there's two different schools this year, for Hunter and Noah. So it's, it's a little bit all over the place, but, um,  I love calendars. You know this, I have all different kinds of planners. I'm always willing to try something new. Obviously we use our  calendars on our phone. We've purchased the Hearst calendar, which is a nice, digital, visual calendar on the wall. We've done try to race calendars and  don't even get me started on all the different things we've tried, but this big ass calendar, the whole point of it is not really to track your like day to day, like who's doing what, where are we going to practice? This big ass calendar is exciting because it is really for like. being intentional about your year and planning out like your family's priorities. So we haven't received it yet. We ordered it. We're waiting. I'm anxiously waiting for it 

should be here today. 

Really? 

Yeah. Today's the 13th. Yeah. It should be here today.

Oh my gosh. That's so exciting. Okay. Buckle up Josh. Cause we're going to have a, a year planning party. Um, nothing brings me more joy than having things to look forward to and knowing that I'm working towards, goals, but while also putting like, What's most important to us. 

Right. 

Because I think we've done parts of this over the years, but like any busy family, you know, you sometimes lose sight of what's important, like making time for us to like have date nights and planning out vacations ahead of time.

Yeah, not the last minute. 

Yeah.

So commonly known for. 

Yeah, but it's also because it always seems so overwhelming to even like we have so much going on to even think of like Planning the vacation, but  I don't know, being able to see the whole year on one wall is going to be a lot easier.  So we'll, we'll circle back on that. I'll keep you updated, but,  it is pretty cool. And it comes with a video on like how the guy who invented it, like his system for planning his goals. And just to touch a little bit on it, first, he wants you to put all your non negotiables on there and it's a big dry erase calendar.

But again, you're looking at the whole year kind of in rows. Each month is a row and it comes with these little, like sticky note tabs and color coded. So first you color code your different things, whether it's like  Josh's work travel or our date nights or family travel or. Business goals or whatever it is.

Each of them is assigned a color and then you map that out for the year  Obviously, there's gonna be changes and things that need to be moved around But it's really so you can like yeah, you start with putting the non negotiables on there. So things like birthdays anniversaries Monthly date nights, that's already on the calendar. We are not moving it. It's a non negotiable goes on there. And then you kind of work from there, but yeah, stay tuned once we roll that out and figure it out. 

We'll keep you guys updated as we update it. 

For sure. So that being said, though, today, you can join us as we kind of chat through our habits that we are looking to set in motion for this new year. I recently read the book, Atomic Habits, highly suggest it.  I read it for a local book club I'm in, but, , one of the things that they talk about in the book is that it's better to  set processes, not goals, because goals are like the end result, right?  Processes is what's going to. Form the habits to get you there  I mean, it's still good to have goals But like the point is is I don't want to start January with like I'm gonna write a book  I'm going to build my business by this many people, you know, like these big lofty goals. That's cute But like how are we gonna get there 

baby steps?

Right. But like, exactly. So, the habits that we're gonna put in place, and personal ones too, obviously, like health is top of mind, prioritizing time with our family, and what that looks like, how we do things as parents, I mean,  we might be talking top of the dome here with you guys, because We haven't really talked this all through yet, but um, yeah, join us. So Josh, it could be as simple as drinking more water or as complicated as something to do with your job, but, do you have any like top of mind habits that you're looking to implement, daily or weekly 

Top of mind,  I would say, structure is always good for me. So, you know, I had a conversation with my boss and everything's going great. I pretty much kill at my job.  Um, but you know, there's better ways I could utilize my time,  and then having, you know, say from eight to 10, I, I check emails and then from 10 to 11 and I go into our forecasting tool and really look at that and dive in and really remind myself of. Would I need to follow this customer? Oh, Hey, I haven't touched base with this customer in a while. I need to touch base with them now. It's cause it's been 30, 40 days and I can do a better job at that. And that's something I realized,  because my job is so fast paced and there's things going on in every different direction, really focusing on one task at a time, I think is really going to help me in the long run. Um, which, let me reiterate, I do kill at my job. I do very well. However, there's 

Being more confident. Not a new habit that we need to create. 

There's just things I can do better to utilize my time to get, to get more out of it. So

So I guess really the habit is like, getting in the habit of structuring your day.

Correct. Like, exactly. Breaking down my day. 

Time blocking. 

Correct. 

Instead of being like, oh, I gotta work 8 to 5, you know, 8 to 10 I'm doing this. Mm hmm. 10 to noon I'm doing this. You know, noon to 12 30, I'm taking a lunch or, you know, whatever, if I'm traveling, just really having more structure throughout the day to be intentional about my day.

I think that should be our word of the year. Intentional, just like all around. That's a good habit. That's a good habit. I,  it wasn't on like my top list. Cause I do kind of do that. I go in phases where like, I'll get in the habit of doing that and blocking out my days. But my problem is that when I do that, I'm like, Not general enough. I will block out my day and it's never realistic. Like, I'll be like, okay, from 30, I'm going to answer these emails, and then I have this call, and then I have to go pick up this kid, and then I have to go grocery shopping, and like, nothing ever, ever takes the amount of time I think it will. When really, I should, you know, get in the better habit of blocking my day, kind of like you said, you know, like, okay, in the morning, I'm going to work on this.

You know, podcasting stuff for two hours while Lorelei naps and then in the afternoon, I'm going to get some house stuff done and then this, you know, like more general, um, but then having like, say, top three priorities for the day, because even with the time blocking, I've gotten into it where, okay, I blocked out time to like catch up on emails, but it's like, is that really moving the needle right now?

Like, okay, I did it. But like, yeah. I should do one of my priorities for the day, you know,  send the pitch email or hire the editor. Mm hmm. I am hiring an editor.  If anyone out there is into audio editing, podcast editing, video editing, 

please let us know. 

Let me know because that's on my top of my priority list this week is to hire an editor.  Anyway, but that's a good habit. I like that. 

And then the other one that comes to mind is I like to think I live a pretty healthy lifestyle, but making my, uh, health.  I admit, I'm pretty bad at going to a doctor. I won't go to a doctor unless I really, really need. 

Unless I harp on you enough. 

True. Unless I need something. But you know, I am 41 now. So I need to start, you know, looking ahead. 

Sure. 

To make sure that the ticker is ticking. 

Ticker is ticking. 

And to make sure, you know, that I'm doing, Everything to make sure that I'm around. I mean, shit. I mean,  boys are 

You want to take a turn? 

Well, no, I'm not saying it in a bad way.

Just kidding, I know. 

Just saying in general, I mean, make sure that, you know 

You just want to be your healthiest self. 

Right. And then set a good example for the boys in Lorelei, you know, that 

Yeah. 

eating right, exercising should be part of your daily, weekly routine. 

So that's a good goal. What is the habit to implement? So like the habit for your first one, I would say would be like, what, every morning block out your day or like at the beginning of the week, block out your week. Is that aggressive? 

Yeah. 

Might have to do it daily, right? Because it changes. 

Exactly. Yeah. So that would be every day.  Really it'd be getting up. Much earlier than I used to be really good at waking up between like five and five 30. And then I 

fell into my habits. 

I did.  I would say ever since Lorelei has been born in home, it's, it's taken a little bit of a turn 

yeah. 

But yeah, that's something I want to get back into is getting up, you know, between five and five 30,  start my day from like that five 30 to six, you know, maybe scheduling out my day or planning out my day. Hit the gym, come home, you know, boys may be sleeping, maybe not, but like get their stuff ready. So when they're up, their lunches are packed, don't have to, have the chaos of the day. 

Yeah. 

Start at 7 a. m. 

That is one of my habits, too, that I wrote down today, like, at the very minimum that just made me think of my health, I wrote down, drink 90 ounces of water a day, because since Lorelei, I have fallen off of that, too, and again, I think it's just because whatever sliver I had left of, like, being able to think about myself now is, gone, and I were just, like, going through the day, and that used to be, like, Super easy one for me.

I had no problem drinking water and I think I've been telling you the holidays made it so much worse But very apparent that like I'm not drinking enough water because I don't know. I just told you this the other day  I feel like I've been dehydrated for like a month and it's just because I'm not thinking about it and it's not top of mind So 

and also to like you think drink water is like easy, right? Everyone's like I'll drink water it sounds like the easiest and simplest thing to do But like as your day goes and as you wake up and you start hitting it

Well, especially like you're not sitting at a desk all day and neither am I. You're like on the move, on the go, like moving and shaking.  I do find it harder. I think because it's winter now too, because  I had a good habit  before,  that was easy. That was like the easy goal I would check off every day. I was like, dude killed my water goal. Like my eating goal, not so much water check, not a problem, hydrated. So that's top of mind for me too. But I have the same. Habit I want to implement as you  taking back the mornings. 

Yeah, that's a good that's just that should be another slogan  

Take back your morning because you know me I I am a night owl and I like that time to decompress from the day and for me It's like take back my me time at the end of the day the kids go to bed I'm like, okay, finally I can do something that I want to do whether that's work or watch TV or read or whatever it is. But then the problem is it does not help my situation in the morning. And I hate chaos. 

And I'd rather have I'd rather have my mornings where I can wake up, drink some water,  have a cup of coffee. And just sit there. 

Well, I do think that is the other plus obviously of flip flopping, the me focus time from night to morning is like  at night, I'm more likely to relax and grab a glass of wine. Whereas in the morning, yeah, I will grab coffee or something, but,  we should work on that together. 

Well, we did it this morning. 

We did that. That was nice. We still didn't get it. That's the other thing. What these habits, I think, from what I read and just, it makes sense is like start. Simple like you don't have to all of a sudden go from being someone who  wakes up at 7 30 a. m With your kids to waking up at 5 a. m. Like that might not be  realistic for some people. It's not for me I've tried it. I'll do it for a few days. But then on the whole there'll be a day where I'm up later I can't sleep and there's no freaking way. I'm getting up at 5   so I wrote down today before we got on this call I was just like thinking it was the water and then it was  I want to be awake by, I think I said six every day. Cause I want time to get ready for myself. I know it takes you like two seconds, even if you shower, just get ready and boom, boom. 

If I'm not traveling, it's sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I know, but clothes is the least of my problems. I want to wash my face. I want to like, put my makeup on, have my hair done.

Better skin care routine for me because I'm getting some bags at the crow's feet.  So maybe I could form that habit. I don't know. 

Hit us with any of your favorite skin care routines for men or women in their mid thirties to early forties. 

Early forties.  And then my last one is, your mother got me a book for Christmas called The Intentional Father. And it's a practical guide to raise sons of courage and character. My other habit that I want to create is I'm not much of a reader, but even if it's, page a day, two pages a day, or if I get really hooked on it, you know, as many as that will keep my attention span. That's something I want to do more to have a bigger focus on that and then implement what I'm reading into our children.

Yeah. So the daily habit you'd have to set. Which guys, we really didn't talk about this before. I just told him, I was like, Hey, do you want to be my first guest? Let's chat about our habits and stuff. But that was my other one too, is that I  know, well, this is good. This, we can help each other. I want to be more. Have it with reading too. I mean like last year, I think I read four or five books. It's always propelled by like whatever social book club I decide to join and then I don't want to be left out because I have FOMO and I like being Social and going to these book clubs. Um, so i'll read the book but this year I really want to just dive into more reading, because as I've read Abundant Ever After, which, starting a motherhood intended book club with that book and then I just read Atomic Habits, it made me realize that  even though I feel like I'm being leisurely and like, oh, I'm indulging in a book, it's actually propelling my life and my business forward.

I mean, it has sparked so many ideas. Even when you're reading fiction, it's like you're getting out of your head and you're being creative and you're just relaxing and Get out of your head for a little bit. So, I think the daily habit for that should be, you know, we'd have to set a goal.

Like, either how many minutes or how many pages a day. We're going to read. 

I'm going to go with pages. 

Pages. Okay.  Baby steps for me. 

Well, I don't know what's worse. I don't know if you're a slow reader. Like. 

Pages. 

So time would be better. No? 

I'm going to go with pages. 

Okay. Pages. When should we do this? Like before bed? Because that's what I'm aiming for. But  the other day I literally said. 

Yeah. 

Alright, so we're going to read tonight. Um. That's not bad. Before bed. I know, I know. I don't love it either. 

These are mine. You can do whatever you want to do. You can read at night, read in the morning, read in the afternoon. 

But this is where the problem comes in I do like relaxing to TV series together. It'd be easier for me to read  if you're out of town, I'd just get in bed and read because I hate trying to figure out what to watch when you're not home because we always have like our own series going.

Right.

But, Then I fall into the trap of like, I know you're not supposed to be on a screen an hour before bed to like, have the best sleep.  We never do that. 

No, we don't. 

We constantly watch TV before bed.  

Yeah. And I usually fall asleep. 

I know. But what is Why do they say that? 

I don't know. I have no idea.

But are you getting good sleep? 

Probably not. That's why I'm always tired. 

That's why I'm taking 

It's kind of like the wine thing. If I have a couple glasses of wine, I'll probably just drift off to sleep, but it's not good sleep. 

Right. That's why I'm gonna take, my health into, consideration this year.

All right. If anyone else has like a good night routine. 

Yeah. 

That's realistic. Let's not get crazy. We're not these influencers. We're like, okay. And then I do my 10 care ski Yeah. Skin routine. And then I read 87 chapters and I do my red light therapy, and then I do X, Y, and Z and like go to bed. Not realistic at all.

Like literally our kids, by the time we get them in bed, it's 8, 8 15. We're exhausted. Especially when I'm doing it by myself. If Josh is outta town, like there's no fricking way I'm doing, I'm doing the least, right? Like I wanna skincare, I wanna wash my face, tone it. Whatever. 

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

Thank you. That's what that's, boom, boom, boom. 

Yeah. 

Less is more. Less is more. 

Less is more. 

Less is more. All right. I don't know if this is helpful at all, but this is what we're doing guys. When I posted in the Facebook group, just about everybody  really taking initiative and caring for yourself this year. I had a lot of messages of people like, I can't wait to dive into this. It's obviously it's that time of year where we're all looking into how to improve ourselves and our lives and just be like the happiest version of ourselves. And this is for anyone, whether you're a parent or if you are navigating infertility, even more so, we should focus on yourself. And I'm going to be diving into that a little bit more. So. If you haven't yet, you can grab my free, it's a Habit and Goal Tracker that I created. It's just like a free download,  and that'll also put you on our email list. So I'll be sending out once a week some helpful tips all around,  for parenting and wellness and infertility and all the things.

So be sure to join that. I hope you enjoyed this first little episode of the Village Chat. It's very unscripted. You're literally just joining me and whoever's with me on the mic each week. I think it's a good balance,  chatting with other people, , in conjunction with bringing on some experts and other women sharing their journey to motherhood.

Sometimes I think we just need to keep it a little light. 

You took the words right out of my mouth, little light, 

little light, little loosey goosey. This is one of my goals too. I wanted to bring back just kind of like the chit chat and more personal aspect of the show. Cause it can get heavy sometimes with the things we're talking about, you know, diagnosis and loss and some really hard stuff. So you know. Hopefully this will be a good audition. 

Well, I appreciate you having me on again. 

Yes. Thanks for joining me, Josh. 

You're certainly welcome, Jacqueline.  

All right, everyone. I will talk to you again for our regularly scheduled programming. And if you haven't already, obviously you follow the show. So all these new episodes will pop up in your queue. Join the motherhood and ascended community group on Facebook. Everything is linked in the show notes.

And if you have any suggestions for anyone who might want to be a guest on the show or if you yourself Feel like sharing your motherhood journey. I would love to have you so fill out the form in the show notes and Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions. hope you have a good Rest of your day.

Take care. Bye. Bye . 

Oh my gosh, you didn't do your sign out. 

Oh, yeah. Thank you, Chicago  

Bye guys