EP 130: The Reinvention Nobody Talks About

Reinvention is often portrayed as a dramatic before-and-after moment—a bold leap, a fresh start, a perfectly curated transformation.

But what if it doesn't look like that at all?

In this solo episode, Jacqueline shares what she's learning about reinvention while living it in real time. From infertility and loss to motherhood, podcasting, and building Her Village, she reflects on the many versions of herself she's loved, outgrown, and carried with her along the way.

Together, we'll explore:

• Why reinvention can feel a lot like grief—even when it's chosen
• The pressure women feel to justify change
• What happens when people don't understand your evolution
• The courage it takes to keep going in the messy middle
• How to recognize when restlessness may actually be an invitation

If you've been questioning what's next, missing parts of who you used to be, or wondering if you're allowed to want something different, this conversation is for you.

You don't have to have all the answers before you take the next step.

Maybe you're not lost.

Maybe you're becoming.

P.S. This conversation is the first in a series of episodes exploring what it means to evolve through motherhood, identity shifts, and the changing seasons of womanhood. I can't wait for you to hear what's coming next.

Transcript

Hey, friends. Thanks for hitting play and joining me today. I wanna talk about something I don't think we talk about enough as women, and that's reinvention. Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, "This is exactly what I wanted, so why do I feel restless still?" Or maybe you've thought, "I don't even know who I am anymore." Not because anything's wrong, but because somewhere along the way you've changed. I think we often imagine reinvention as this dramatic movie montage, like a new haircut, new job, a big breakthrough. But what I'm learning is that reinvention is usually much quieter than that. It looks like questioning things you used to be certain about, outgrowing versions of yourself you worked really hard to become, or missing parts of who you used to be while simultaneously feeling pulled towards something new. And if I'm being honest, I think that's exactly where I'm at right now There have been many versions of me over the years. As I'm sure you feel the same way. You've gone through so many different versions of yourself, right? Different identities. Um, for me, there was, you know, the version of me that was desperately trying to become a mother. The version that was navigating infertility and loss. Then the version of me who became a mom, but I was a NICU mom who lived one day at a time. Then the version of me who built Motherhood Intended because I needed somewhere to put all of that pain and purpose. The stay-at-home mom version of me. The woman raising neurodivergent kids. The entrepreneur who is constantly chasing my next idea. The version trying to keep everyone afloat. And now, this woman, this version, is building her village And the truth is, every single version of me thought she would eventually arrive. She thought someday she'd finally become herself. But what if there isn't one final version? What if we are constantly evolving into these different versions of ourselves? I wanna talk about reinvention because no one tells you about reinvention, right? You might wanna become a mom or get the career of your dreams or this or that, but, like, no one really talks about all the steps along the way of how you're going to change. And reinvention can feel like grief even when it's good, right? Even when it's chosen. You know, Motherhood Intended was something that I chose to start three years ago. I needed an outlet for my fertility journey. I needed to say it in full. That very first few episodes was my story, and I needed to get it out. And then it became a community online, and then it became talking to other women and interviewing other women about their fertility struggles. But going from Motherhood Intended and now becoming Her Village, it's exactly what feels right in my heart, and it's exactly where I feel like I'm led to be. But letting go of being known for one thing can be hard, and grieving something I thought was, like, my identity can be difficult, too When you're shifting into a reinvention season of yourself, people might misunderstand your pivot. You might be missing pieces of the old version. It's hard letting go of what you're known for or what your thing was when you're becoming something else, and you're stepping into what feels right for you now. You know, sometimes I miss the certainty of knowing exactly who I was and who I was helping. I would never trade and go back to my decade of infertility, but at least at that time, I knew that I am walking this path of infertility. I am in a season of building my family. I know how to share my story. I know who I am. I know exactly what I want, and I know how to help others who are walking the same path. There was something about comfort in that. But you know what? Reinvention asks us to loosen our grip on identities that once saved us, and I've gone through a few identities in the last, I'll say, decade, and that was the infertility version of me, the mom version of me, and now the woman, you know, who I am as a woman. And when you're reinventing yourself or you are shifting in your identity, you don't lose pieces along the way, right? You might miss old pieces, but you're not losing anything. They all are building up to who you are. I'm still a mom, of course. That is like the biggest aspect of my life. I am a stay-at-home mom to three beautiful, amazing miracle children, and that is a huge part of my identity. But as I am slowly in this transitional phase of like remembering who I am as a person outside of motherhood, it's, it's a big reinvention time, and it can be uncomfortable, but you'll know when it feels right, and not everyone will understand. But you will know that you're moving in the right direction. And you don't need permission to change your mind on something. You don't need permission to evolve. You don't need permission to shift your priorities or your interests. Women are taught to justify change, right? We explain, we apologize, we make everyone comfortable first. But you're allowed to change. You're allowed to want different things. You're allowed to evolve. And this one might be hard to hear, but it's true. You may disappoint people. Not everyone grows with you. That's just life. Some people prefer the version of you that never rocked the boat. Some people understood you better before, but that's okay Your job isn't to stay small enough to fit other people's expectations. You have to stay true to yourself and continue chasing what's on your heart and what feels right for you in the season of life that you're in Okay, so when I think of this reinvention era, I kind of think of it as who I was, who I wanna be, and then there's, like, the middle part, right? Like, the messy middle. So I'm gonna get real. Let's talk about Her Village, because this is something new I've built. When I started with Motherhood Intended, I didn't really have a plan, to be completely honest, other than to save myself from myself. I needed my own form of therapy that felt validating. Something that felt like I can connect with other people. And honestly, I needed, like, a hobby or a purpose outside of my fertility journey. And what it became was much more than that. I was helping so many people through their family-building journeys, and that was just the bonus. You know, I just wanted to share my story and let other women share their stories, and it evolved in those three years to having experts on, doctors sharing information for women to hear, connecting women with other women so they weren't navigating the same fertility journey alone. And it got to a point where it felt really comfortable But that comfortability also led me to feel like, is this-- am I doing this for me still, or am I just on this path 'cause I think I should be on this path? And you know what? I finally had the hard realization over six months of trying to figure out, like, okay, what am I doing here? Why do I feel unmotivated, and why do I not feel aligned with this mission anymore? And as I've mentioned in earlier episodes this year, it's because, like, I'm in a different season of life right now. I am not in the thick of infertility. My family-building journey will always be a part of my story. It has genuinely shaped who I am today as a mom and a woman and just a person in general, but to put all my focus on something that isn't my day-to-day, it isn't my passion, and quite literally was a very difficult time in my life, it just didn't feel aligned anymore. But all of these moments and all of these experiences have led me to Her Village, and I'm calling this the messy middle because I feel like I am in the middle of transitioning out of Motherhood Intended and transitioning into Her Village, and what the future holds for it and what I envision. So as I'm starting Her Village, this could look like so many different things, right? Some events have had 15 women. Some have had two. Some people RSVP and don't show up. Some nights, the room is packed, and I can't even believe how many women are feeling the vibes that I'm creating. Some nights, I wonder what I'm doing. Some mornings, I wake up convinced this matters deeply. Reinvention isn't about confidence, though. It's continuing before confidence arrives. I honestly don't have the five-step blueprint for this. I'm literally re-recording this, like, while building the thing I'm talking about, so I need you to know that I am being honest in the process of reinvention and pivoting and all the things because I'm in the middle of it. This isn't, like, a cool... I wish I had this, like, five-step thing that you could follow to get to where you wanna be when you pivot your career or your life or your priorities, but I don't. I'm just here to share my experience with you, and also, maybe you're in the same spot, and maybe you're just, like, unsure of where to go next, and that's why I want you to really hear this. Reinvention is not about having the confidence to do the thing. It's not about having all the answers. Reinvention is continuing on before the confidence arrives. It's jumping in there with your gut feeling of what you wanna do, where you wanna go, what you see for your future, and just seeing what happens, just getting in there. Maybe you're returning to work. Maybe you're leaving a career. Maybe your kids are growing up. Maybe you're getting divorced. Maybe you're sober curious. Maybe you're making new friends. Maybe you are finally asking what you want. If you've been feeling restless lately, maybe it isn't dissatisfaction. Maybe you can think of that as an invitation, right? What version of yourself have you outgrown? What part of yourself do you miss? And what part of yourself are you just beginning to meet? I really don't think reinvention means becoming someone completely different. I think it means gathering the pieces of yourself that still fit, thanking the versions of you that got you here, and having the courage to step into whatever comes next For example, I know as my kids are getting older, and they're not old. I still have little kids. I mean, I have an eight-year-old, a six-year-old, and a two-year-old, okay? But as I'm out of the baby toddler phase, mostly, my daughter's still two, but, like, the thick of it or what felt like the thick of it. Um, and I actually, I think a lot of that has to do with, too, that, like, my daughter, my two-year-old, was carried by a surrogate. So, so much of that journey was different for me this, the third time around because I was not stressed out hoping my body would do what it needed to do. I was not worried about losing another baby. I was not dealing with postpartum, and hospital stays, and all of the things that have always come along with my own pregnancies. So I feel like I got a jumpstart on, like, feeling like myself sooner than later because I wasn't going through postpartum, all the things. I was just taking care of my baby and bonding with her and, you know, she's a toddler now, and all, that comes with all the things. But a little bit of a different version that time around. Um, but I feel like over these years, now that my kids are somewhat older, I've been able to reintroduce pieces of me that I forgot that I loved, right? Like, I love cooking. I'm not, like, the best cook in the world, but I love the therapeutic part of it all. I love following recipes. I love following directions. I love trying new things. And so, like, bringing that little piece into my life again is important to me. Family time, spending time with my extended family is super important to me, and it's hard to remember that when you're raising a family of your own, and you're running all around, and you're trying to do a business, and all these things. But that's one thing, too, that I am trying to incorporate back into my life in this new season reinvention era. So on some Sundays , I've decided I'm going to be making my grandma's sauce. I will invite over any family that wants to enjoy it, and we'll just kinda start some traditions because it's important for my kids, too. The other thing is I've started reading again. That brings me joy. And then trying new things and exploring local businesses, which is, at the heart of Her Village. It's all about connecting women together but also supporting our local village, right? We're starting here in Naperville, which is where I'm from, and supporting women-owned businesses, local businesses, and just, like, exploring again is a version of me that I miss, and so I am bringing that back. But like I said, the messy middle, you're kinda just figuring it out, right? I, I'm not balancing it all at one time right now. I hope to find some footing. And if you're in the messy middle too, I hope this episode reminds you that you're not behind, okay? You haven't missed your chance. You don't need all the answers before you begin. You just have to trust yourself enough to take the next step. We all go through seasons of life. As women, we are constantly evolving, and I never want you to forget that you're allowed to do so. Everyone doesn't have to understand it, okay? If you in your heart know what you're going after, then go for it. Her Village has been on my heart in one way or another over the years. I just didn't know what that precise vision looked like until the timing was right, which is why in my messy middle, I tried to start Your Fertility Village, which was an online app community for people going through infertility. And I did it, I did the thing, I went through the motions, I dabbled in it for six months, and that's when I realized, I was like, "I don't know why I don't have the motivation to just keep on going with this." And it's because my heart wasn't in it. But that's okay, because what that experience gave me is like I am craving community. I'm passionate about bringing women together. I'm still passionate about helping people. And the real aha moment was when I realized I want to bring women together in real life again. I wanna take it offline, and I think a lot of women do, too. And based on how everything's been going the last couple months with launching Her Village here in Naperville, I know other women feel the same. So thank you so much for being here for this version of the podcast, this version of me, and maybe even this version for yourself. I am so excited about the upcoming episodes I have planned. My next guest is Dr. Arcott, and she too will be touching on the idea of reinvention. Specifically, what it looked like for her to step away from a successful career to focus on raising her children, and then return to build two mission-driven companies, all while navigating motherhood along the way. Her story is the epitome of what women are capable of and the epitome of what reinvention means. And so I'm so excited to talk about this more. And following that episode, I am beyond excited to welcome onto the show Angela Santomero. She is the creator behind shows that you've heard of, like Blue's Clues, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, Super Why, and more. She recently created a new book and series called Princess Penelope's Purse of Preposterous Things, and she is just such a talented human being and mom, and we're gonna talk about all sorts of things. How to use imagination at home to help your kids through fear, anxiety, and everyday challenges. We'll touch on what she learned from creating Blue's Clues and Daniel Tiger that parents can apply right now. How to choose books and stories that support your child's emotional development, not just entertain them. And most importantly, some simple, practical ways that parents can raise kind, creative, resilient kids in a world that feels overwhelming. So we're kind of on this reinvention journey, which just feels like fate with the timing of this podcast and shifting over from Motherhood Intended to Her Village, because I've shared my story a little bit. We'll talk to Dr. Arcott, and she'll share her incredibly impressive story, and then Angela Santomero will walk us through her experience and how we can pass this reinvention and all these things on to our kids and make them resilient in a world that can feel overwhelming at times. Thank you again for listening today. Before you click out of your podcast app, make sure you check the show notes. There's a link in there to learn more about Her Village. You can sign up for our emails. If you're local to Naperville, that's where you'll get invites to our upcoming events. And even if you're not local to Naperville, get on the list because that's how you know when new cities are opening up, and of course, just like all sorts of fun stuff that will come to your inbox.